#The Romani who were like the kings family when his father was killed

[evita-shelby]

Rules: Share your OC's full name and the meaning/origins behind it. Then (If you'd like) inculde any insights or symbolic meanings about their name you wish to share, or just your reasons for giving them the name that you did!

No pressure tags: @zablife @raincoffeeandfandoms @call-sign-shark @thegreatdragonfruta @red-riding-wood @runnning-outof-time @arcielee @assortedseaglass

Eva Leonor Smith Riley

Cw: use of a slur, mentions of suicide

For oc names i go with how the parents would name them given the society they live in and vibe. Eva was no different.

Eva gets two lastnames because of naming conventions in mexico, so its her father's surname followed by mother's maiden name.

So first name and middle name:

Eva: is the latin spelling of the hebrew words Chava/Hava meaning life or life giver.

While i could lie and say Eva’s name was chosen of the symbolism that she helps Tommy heal and grow into a better man, she is named Eva after Evita Peron, first lady of Argentina who after her dictator husband was overthrown.

She was rather influentian and there was a myth taht where her body was hidden(it was exhumed and stolen) flowers would appear there.

Eva's name also comes from a 1917 femme fatale played by Mimi Derba in La Tigeresa named Eva who pretended to be a poor woman to win the heart of a lower class man and then broke up with him, faked her death which drove him insane only for her (now married to a rich man) to visit the institution he was in for charity and he kills her in his mad rage.

While the femme fatale is more in line with s1 Grace , Eva reveals in Of Gods and Witches she seduced the president's son and when he discovered his father was gonna have her assassinated while under house arrest he commits suicide ala Antigone and Haemon. This all happened while she was secretly dating her best friend and cousin’s secret girlfriend, Antonia.

But in the fic, Eva is named Eva because her mother, Isabel, schemed to make herself go into labor in the Sistine Chapel(right ubder God's Creation of Eve)to get the current Pope (Benedict XV) attend the baptism and his successor the future Pope Pius XI to be her godfather because the archbishop of mexico refused to go to her family's estate to baptize Eva’s older brother Gabriel.

Leonor: is the portuguese and spanish variant of Eleanor meaning Torch, light and/or sun ray.

Leonor was the name of her great grandmother who descends from Emperor Moctezuma, the last Aztec ruler, through his son Juan Moctezuma who was made a spanish noble. Leonor Moctezuma, Eva’s great grandmother, was born to a member of the Moctezuma family and a Nahua secretary in Mexico City.

Last Names:

Smith: anglo-saxon 'to hit or strike' possibly related to a person who was a metal worker.

So Smith is a common English surname and the surname of a romani traveller king named Absalom Smith in the early 19th century. He died in 1826 with the title of king of the gypsies (please excuse the slur)and had been elected so in the early 19th century according to the Mamchester Times. He was a fiddler and his daughter Beatte Smith was so beautiful there is portrait of her in Belvoir Castle, Manchester.

The Smiths were apparently an important Romani family like the Boswells who the Shelbys claim descendance from and the Welsh Romani woman Tommy seeks to see if the sapphire was cursed is also a Boswell. Eva was originally going to be a Boswell but that would've made her a relative of Tommy and i decided against it.

Riley: anglicized irish last name meaning rye-clearing.

So Eva’s grandfather Patrick Riley was an Irish immigrant and oc nephew to John Patrick Riley, Captain of the Saint Patrick's Battalion who were composed Catholic Irish, Scotsmen. Freed slaves and men of color tired of the racism they dealt with in the US and defected to Mexico right before the Mexican American War in the 1850s.

John Riley immigrated to the US due to the Great Famine and despute being known for his great strength of character and morality died alone and penniless in Veracruz as the torture and defeat of his battalion at the hands of the americans left him with very severe trauma and teh letters D on both sides of his face branded onto his skin for desertion even though he deserted before the war.

It provides as to why Eva is of mixed race and how her grandmother who is old money ended up having red haired children and show how diverse Mexico actually is

[seraphimsora]

Who is Biatrice's mother? (Sorry if I'm asking too many questions)

Hello again! I love these questions!

Well... Biatrice's mother's family is a little complex, they are the Lancasters, a noble family from England who had a throne like Lords in the clock tower. Hunters of mysteries (magic) who made a contract with a True Ancestor thousands of years ago, their blood is almost the same as that of Dead Aspostle, but with human characteristics.

However, their lives, being hunters, although bathed in blood, were still full of riches due to the artifacts they found on their hunts. In general, Diana Lencastre, Biatrice's mother, was the CEO of a large company that built museums for world. She was after Solomon's rings when crossed paths with Romani Archaman.

Romani knew about Goetia's threat and wanted to stop him, reaching the rings faster than the demon. He started using Diana to get where he wanted, but the woman wasn't an idiot, she felt something wrong with that man, like a hunter of magical creatures and a wizard, how could she not recognize the king of Mages? Diana forced Romani to tell the truth or she would kill him, and then he told her everything, from the Grall war he participated in alongside the Marisbury Animusphere, to his visions regarding Goetia. At that moment they began to work together to try to gain an advantage over the enemy of humanity.

During these months of adventure, Diana and Romani had a small affair, guided by interests and a spark of mutual admiration, which led Diana to become pregnant. It was quick but remarkable for both parties, they remained good friends after that, but failed to find nine of Solomon's two rings. This loss was costly later on. Romani joined Chaldea and Diana resumed ties with the Clock Tower by being a teacher of curses, still not getting her Lordship back. Biatrice grew up as a young duchess with her grandparents, mother and rare visits from her father, until she was four years old.

However, the hunters are not always the predators, the church did not want the rise of the Lencastre because they were part of the Dead Apostle, however subtle his actions were, there was a priest whose blind faith and sick obsession led him to kill the entire Lencastre family. On a red moon night, he killed Biatrice's mother and grandparents in front of her while she was hidden by Diana's magic. When Romani arrived, it was already too late. He blamed himself until the end not only for Diana's death but for putting his own daughter in a hellish cycle of deaths.

The Poor child was traumatized, she was taken to Chaldea with Romani, but she could barely express sadness, happiness or even anger, she looked like the living dead...until Da Vinci appeared. Through art, she revived the sparkle in Biatrice's heart and gradually gained a maternal space in the girl's life as she grew up in Chaldea.

[usssnarfblat]

Upcoming Tragic Villain Backstories!

Scar

was bullied by Mufassa as a cub, and also he was in love with Sarabi. But when he confessed his love, she Snape-Zoned him and said he was like a brother to her, and that she loved Mufassa. The jilted Scar empathized with the second-class hyenas, and sought only to introduce democracy to the Pride Lands.

Yzma

...is herself daughter of an emperor, but born out of wedlock, was ineligible for the throne, and instead saw her shallow and incompetent half-sibling wreck the kingdom's economy. And his son, and his son, and so forth. Yzma is Kuzco's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great ("ARE YOU FINISHED?!!")....great-great aunt. She raised Kuzco to the best of her abilities, but his evil parents left their bad influence on their son before drunkenly driving their chariot off a cliff. Yzma was also only using tough love to each the starving peasants a work ethic.

Steele

...was the sweetest little puppy in Alaska, until a pack of hungry wolves ate his human owners, instilling his sympathetic prejudices against Balto's kind.

Dr. Facilier

was an honest witch doctor, and partner of Mama Odie, until Mama Odie double-crossed him and took credit for the transformation potion he invented. She also spread evil rumors about him being a conning villain dabbing in evil magic. Really though, the shadow people and stitch dolls are benevolent spirits that took him under their wing after his parents were eaten by frogs.

Ursula

....actually would make a legitimately interesting villain story, if done right.

Governor Ratcliffe

...in our very slight artistic twist on history, was a poor boy who worked day and night to raise money for his little brother's much-needed operation, and just when he seemed about to finally get enough money to save Percy's life, he lost it all at an Indian casino. To keep Percy from dying, Dr. Facilier transplanted Percy Ratcliffe's soul into the body of a pug, just before his human body expired. Governor Ratcliffe is only seeking gold and the destruction of the Powhattans to save and avenge his little brother.

Jafar

was an innocent young child, and the apple of his parents' eye, until the day his parents were brutally murdered by a band of mugger street-rats, and then eaten by literal street-rats, and a starving Jafar was forced to eat his last family member--his pet snake Ziggy--to survive. The orphaned Jafar was then raised by parrots, who taught him dark magic. He entombed Ziggy's serpentine skeleton in a golden sarcophagus, and used his new magic to summon Ziggy's soul back to do his bidding through his new snake staff.

Mr. Mole

wasn't always blind. He used to be a prodigy of a painter, until his left eye was scratched out by a swallow's talons, and his right eye was wrecked by an insect's stinger. Unable to maintain his job as a painter, the crippled Mole could find work only as an indentured servant to fairies. He vowed to regain his wealth, at which time he would kill and mutilate swallows and bugs, and dominate a fairy as the fairies once dominated him.

Rothbart

truly was Mr. Nice Guy, until the love of his life left him for a man with better facial hair.

Judge Claude Frollo's father,

who had children at an old age, was hardcore party animal and proverbial Dirty Old Man, who had the sexual apatite of an Incubus and was King of Fools for decades on end. But one dark Festival Eve, a young innocent Frollo witnessed his elderly father finally push himself too far; a flirtatious barmaid--who happened to be a "Gypsy" (Romani)--accidently gave Frollo Sr. the boner that cost him his life. The old man clearly died happy, but his son was left in shambles.

Shortly thereafter, unattended decorative lanterns for the Festival caused a fire that burned the house down. Young Claude Frollo peed his pants, and everyone laughed. Thus he grew up to develop an intense hatred for sexuality, Gypsies, Festivals, and especially sexy Gypsies at festivals, as well as an obsession with fire and an preference for long dresses over pants.

The Coachman from "Pinocchio"

is really a kindly old man, who just got so sick of little hoodlums tromping through his front lawn. He's just using tough love to teach the donkey-boys a work ethic.

[maddmuses]

Madonna “Donna” Redgrave

(Art Credit)

Age: -.6 DMC 5 (Born roughly 8 months after events of DMC 5) Occupation: Devil Hunter, Bartender/Bar Owner Aliases: The Legacy of Power, Demon-Slaying Bartender,  Date of Birth: August 13 Species: Cambion (Demon-Human, with Umbran Witch and Priestess descent) Ethnicity: Anglo-Italian-Romani Possible other Asian heritage (Umbran Witch Heritage)(Based on HCs of Lady and Dante ethnicities) Affiliations: Devil May Cry (Main Branch/Lover’s City Location) Theme Song: Takedown by Blue Stahli (XINA cut)

Personality Donna strongly takes after her mother, being both business-minded and serious about her demon hunting activities. Through this, she was compelled to converting the original Devil May Cry shop into a more sustainable bar to fund ongoing day-to-day, as demonic incursions dwindle in numbers. Ultimately, though, she still had a deep love for killing demons like her father. She often uses it as a means to seek an adrenaline high, which will result in her fighting stylishly, in the same way that Dante has.

As a result of her almost nonexistent relationship with her father, Donna prefers to distance herself from Dante’s brand as owner of Devil May Cry, even converting the signage to use a lit silhouette of her mother, and never being seen wearing red. When fighting, she remains calm and cool, preferring to take her foes out in as few moves as possible, only getting more loose and flippant as she loses herself in the rush of an exciting battle.

Though she was largely raised alone by Lady, Donna has a strong familial bond to Nero and Kyrie, and paradoxically looks up to her uncle Vergil as the ultimate peak of “cool”.

Like her father she often takes jobs pro bono, though she often feels vindicated in doing so, due to her otherwise solid profits in the business with high-paying jobs, taking on extra work from Nero’s branch, and the bar component doing fairly well. Though she often pretends to be intent to take payment, Donna will disappear altogether when payment is due, in the case of such jobs.

Biography Madonna Redgrave was born a little over half a year following the events of Devil May Cry 5, with Lady having been pregnant for about two weeks during the events of the game. About 7 months into term Donna was born premature to her mother, though she ultimately was born and grew successfully. Though her early childhood was largely uneventful, by the metric of a child to two devil hunters; being largely taken care of by her mother, who had taken to residing in the Devil May Cry shop, and staying with her cousin Nero when Lady took a job to create a financial windfall.

Never having met her father, Donna is only regaled with stories of his various heroics and endeavors growing up, largely with a more positive energy by Nero than Lady, who retains her somewhat annoyed energy when remembering her child’s father. Though Donna would take somewhat more to her mother’s perspective on many of Dante’s exploits, these stories still would ultimately motivate the cambion to become a demon hunter, though initial training she sought out was without Lady’s knowledge.

As a young adult, she would eventually take over Devil May Cry, after having built a small following in the underground as a capable, and affordable, hunter for hire. Though she preferred to keep the business as one that would maintain operation consistently, rather than simply taking on commissions for various demonic incursions, especially in the post-Dante era where it had grown even more infrequent, with numerous hell gate operations being taken down by her predecessors. Thus, Donna’s field of work is both more diverse, and more steady, in addition to maintaining a bar.

Donna’s ongoing fight against demons and the mysterious “angels” (demonic entities from a counterpart realm that claims itself to be paradise, but is in fact simply the highest positional level of hell) is defined as her unique struggle as the defender of humanity.

Abilities and Skills  -Combat Proficiency: Donna is highly skilled in both armed and unarmed combat. Without relying on her superhuman abilities, Donna is able to take on swarms of demons with little incident. --Swordswomanship: Though capable in a number of styles of sword, Donna prefers curved weapons, especially favoring her nodachi, though she has shown a capacity with more straight-edged swords, she prefers to solely manifest them for her ranged mirage blades, though she has used them as shortswords in a pinch. --Martial Arts: The majority of Donna’s combat is hand-to-hand, fighting in a sort of mixed style, often depending on the Devil Arm she uses, she has been known to manifest copies of them when without one, switching style accordingly. --Gunplay: Prior to the manifesting of her ability to create weapons out of her demonic energy, Donna was fairly capable with firearms of various make, and is even still a user of Kalina Ann Mk IV after this revelation. In the earlier days of her demon hunting she was known to use a broad variety of firearms, before tightening up her arsenal after learning to manifest weapons. --Mirage Blades: Developed after gaining access to Devil Soul, Donna became able to create Mirage Blades, like her uncle though red in color with a somewhat thinner design. Through this power she also works up various weapons on the fly, including recreations of various Devil Arms she has seen or used (though usually not at full power or including their inborn abilities), including a recreation of Rebellion that she called Revolutionary Memory.

-Acrobatics: Though possessed of natural agility, Donna is capable of various technical feats reminiscent of her mother’s. Often she was able to easily move with Kalina Ann, and often still utilizes the weapon’s recoil while in Gunslinger to move with a great speed, and charge towards enemies.

Superhuman Powers and Abilities -Cambion Physiology: In part due to her descendance from Sparda, but also due to her mother’s brief transformation into a demon (Artemis), Donna is a powerful demonic entity who possesses physical abilities that far exceed that which is possible for a mortal human; disregarding any degree of training they may have. Her potential and ability are in a similar realm to that of Nero, Vergil, and Dante, though due to inexperience and a lack of similar caliber opponents she currently trails. This additionally grants the following specific abilities: --Superhuman Strength --Superhuman Speed and Reflexes --Accelerated Healing --Superhuman Endurance --Demonic Power Manipulation: By imbuing her demonic power into objects, and otherwise focusing it in the air, Donna is able to enhance various items and create blades of pure energy from her willpower. --Teleportation: Much like her father, uncle, and cousin, Donna is able to teleport various distances. Biasing more towards Vergil’s side, she is able to teleport much more quickly, with more versatility, and a further range than her father and cousin. --Devil Soul: The counterpart to Nero’s Devil Bringer, Donna is able to channel demonic energy into a projection-like construct. At a lower degree of use she is able to create large arms to enhance attacks and defenses, as well as conjuring a torso around herself to defend from attacks that hit an area, or break through other forms of defense. By further focusing she can actually create a fully-formed doppelganger that appears to be a red semi-transparent recreation of her father’s devil trigger form. Donna’s Devil Soul wasn’t unlocked until she was defeated (and nearly slain) by Azazel through his power of scapegoating. She counteracted this through the use of Devil Soul’s doppelganger. --Devil Trigger (Not Unlocked)

-Style Powers: A natural progression from her father’s abilities, Donna is able to harness her mixed umbran-demonic heritage into a force of power commonly referred to as “Styles” which permit her to more effectively and efficiently focusing her demonic powers in a conduit to optimize her combat output. Styles were her original primary method of combat prior to gaining Devil Soul. --Royalguard: Functions identically to Dante’s --Swordmaster: Initially functions identically to Dante’s, though following the unlock of Devil Soul, and thus Mirage Blades, it takes to allowing Donna to manifest and conjure various weapons and devil arms, while swapping between them rapidly because of their energetic nature. --Dark Avenger: A focus and conduit of her power, allowing her to become motivated and fight in a style almost identical of her uncle. This style quickly consumes her Devil Trigger gauge, as well as her Style Meter. --Ranged Fortress: Essentially Gunslinger, though once she has unlocked, and begins to use Mirage Blades, this mode will greatly enhance them, making the blades longer, able to fire many at the same time, and utilize multiple techniques specifically with these, such as firing large, Rebellion-like, blades, as well as pinning targets to a specific position to be unable to escape her.

Weaknesses and Limitations -The forces of Inferno and Paradise: Demons and Angels, as well as pretty much any supernatural force, are more capable of injuring Donna in a more significant way than mundane means. This is shared with her fellow cambions.

-Styles: The use of a style requires not only her demonic power, but also a type of energy that she often refers to as “Style Energy”. By consuming her style energy to swap, or utilize any of her styles’ specific powers, she steadily becomes more fatigued than other abilities of hers.

Arsenal -Akaja (Portmanteau of Red and Monarch/king): A nodachi-style sword that Donna almost always has on her person, worn across the back of her waist, and a devil arm that represents her own demonic power. Like Rebellion, it serves as a physical manifestation of her devil trigger power, though she has yet to unlock its true power. Once a mundane sword, Donna was able to imprint her demonic power into it (unknowingly) when Devil Soul was unlocked. Using her sword much like how Vergil uses Yamato, she often relies on an iai-style, converting into combos after the draw, before resheathing when her sequences are completed. -Mirage Blades (Various): Donna, at one point, used various devil arms in a similar fashion to her father, though upon unlocking Devil Soul she has largely abandoned this methodology, relying on her own power to recreate the various fighting styles of weapons she wishes to use. However, like Vergil, she most often uses them to conjure blades in the air to fly at opponents. When using her Swordmaster style she is able to emulate different weapons, costing Style Gauge when doing so, and in Gunslinger her ranged blades become longer and more wicked-looking, with the ability to perform various abilities by further consuming her Style Gauge. -Kalina Ann Mk IV: The 4th version of the Kalina Ann, and counterpart to the Mk III that her mother owns. A lightweight rocket launcher, the recoil has been intentionally exaggerated to allow combat recoil.

[hintofcolor]

Things I’ve managed to convince myself are canon:

Dick was born in Romania and spent his entire childhood traveling with the circus not once settling down therefore when his parents died in America (supposedly just another country they stopped in) he was forced to stay there. Meaning dick was an illegal immigrant for a long time while Bruce constantly was trying to use his money and power to get Dick legal without him leaving the country OR anyone finding out

This also means Dick couldn’t really speak English when he moved in with Bruce (this is backed up by him constantly dismantling the English language in the YJ cartoon)

All of the bat kids were bullied brutally in school

Bruce encouraged them to fight back just like Alfred did with him (“never throw the first punch but if get hit make sure they’re the ones that stay down”)

Dick spent a couple weeks in juvie after his parents died and it was the worst couple weeks of his life

Dick had a childhood crush on Wally (who is straight) when dick was 16 he sat Wally down and told him. He told him he expected nothing out of this confession he just hated feeling like he was lying to Wally, Wally understood and was really nonchalant about it nothing changed in their relationship

Jason grew up loving wonder woman and considered her his greatest inspiration in being a hero when he was robin

In return Diana absolutely adored Jason

When Jason got older his respect for Diana only grew and Diana constantly stood up for him, even going as far as (subtly) threatening Bruce a couple times

Jason can’t handle the smell of drugs at all, he always has to wear a filtered mask during drug busts just in case

Jason used to smoke but ever since coming back the smoke just reminds him of the explosion (I saw this somewhere I can’t remember where shout out to you tho)

Jason hates the color green

Tim was severely neglected as a child

Tim learned multiple different languages from all the nanny’s he’s had

Tim is an amazing photographer

All of Bruce’s kids are really close with Selina and go to her to talk or just if they need a break from Bruce and she absolutely adores it

This is one of the main reasons Bruce wanted to marry her

Bruce might be a little awkward and socially inept but he is a good father and loves all of his kids and even tho he might slip up sometimes he would NEVER (I’m looking at you Tim king) NEVER EVER intentionally hurt one of his kids physically or mentally BECAUSE THAT IS EXTEREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER @ ANY WRITER WHO HAS MADE BRUCE A JERK GOD LEARN YOUR CHARACTER JEEZ

Damian is a phenomenal artist and is considered a prodigy

It is something he keeps to himself however

Both Dick and Tim have gone and worked under Selina during thier robin days for a few weeks

The only person who is close to Dicks level when it comes to acrobatics is Selina

There are days where you are only allowed to speak in your native tongue to help Everyone keep up their language skills (Tim speaks Filipino dick speaks Romani Jason speaks Italian Stephanie speaks Portuguese Damian speaks Arabic bruce switches Cassie speaks Chinese) these are the days duke feels like slamming his head through a wall

All of the bat kids have green lantern shirts

Tim has a habit of stealing clothes from literally anyone

Tim prefers tea over coffee

Ace and Titus are both trained service dog however Titus is Damians specifically while Ace is trained to alert Alfred of Bruce and to alert Bruce of Dick Tim and Jason

Bruce is think about getting another dog for Cassie steph and duke because he doesn’t want to overwhelm Ace with 3 more people

Nobody in that spoiled family except for Jason and Alfred can make ANYTHING other that ramen cereal and toast

Dick is insanely healthy because that’s how he grew up in the circus AND the manor

Bruce once lit the refrigerator on fire trying to cook. No one knows how. He denies he ever did such to this day

Dick was considered a heartthrob as a teen and actually was featured on vogue in native dress and took the opportunity to talk about his culture

Vickie was fuming but so was Lois

Dick dresses like Harry styles. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.

However his go to look is a Hawaiian short tucked into black skinny jeans and black converse

Just like Selina everyone in the batfamily has a tendency to confide in Dinah

No homophobia sexism or racism is allowed in the Wayne house hold if you display any of the following you will promptly be kicked out. It has happened before

Cassie has punched lex Luther in the face at a gala

Bruce laughed

Cass has also only worn sweats and a sports bra to a gala

Cass is a ballet dancer and likes teaching her brothers the moves she has learned

When Bruce came back from the dead and found out the justice league thought Tim was going insane with grief and didn’t do anything about it he yelled and screamed for a solid hour. Then he went silent. for weeks he didn’t say a word. It was the most terrifying he had ever been

Duke hangs on to the fact that he is the only meta allowed in Gotham with absolute pride

All the robins check in on the kids from the ‘we are robin’ movement every now and again just to make sure they are okay

Adults are terrified of the bats however children love them

Every member of the batfamily has been called over by child screaming out their window only to spend the next hour helping said child with their homework

Batman makes sure he is approachable to children he wants them to feel safe enough around him to ask for his help no matter what

That has led to him: 1. Patching up stuff animals 2. Calming down imaginary friends 3. Giving opinions on important matters such as which color is the best 4. Helping with homework 5. Trying to be persuaded into convincing the parents not to make broccoli anymore. It’s his favorite part about putting on a mask

Teenagers tho a little more hesitant also approach him with a little more serious matters and more for advice. (How can I help my friend with depression? How can I help my anxiety? I think friend is doing drugs how can I help. I don’t think these are good people I’m hanging out with but now I’m too scared to stop)

However if teens catch any bat sitting on a rooftop close to their windows they ask more stupid type of questions

“Hey nightwing how do you ask out a girl?” “Red hood I’m trying to write this book so hypothetically how long does it take some one to bleed out?” “If I payed you would you take my physical for PE for me?” “How good do you think you would do on the pacer test?” “Can you tell my little sister to shut up, she’ll listen to you?” “How much do I have to pay you to scare my friend?”

Talks between people and the vigilantes from rooftop to window happen a lot and it is always the highlight of the patrol. They like that the people of Gotham trust them.

Jason was brought back via whatever that superboy reset was (I’m still a little fuzzy, sue me) clawed his way out of his grave and then found by Talia. He was then but in the pit for his head injuries. Making it easier for the shadows to manipulate and brainwash him into hating Bruce. However that’s the only thing they manipulated him into. Jason didn’t go ‘insane by the pit’ and his thoughts and stances on killing are his own. And the way Bruce handles Jason being back is what made Jason continue hating Bruce even aged the brainwashing ‘wore off’

The day his dad died was what Jason considered the best day of his life

Dick is extremely intelligent and was considered a child prodigy (this isn’t a headcanon this is actually canon some of y’all just forget and need to be reminded)

Dick loves math (also canon)

Jason can sing. Like really really well.

Theater Nerd™️ Jason Todd

Jason is scared of thunderstorms

Damian is afraid of heights

Lady shiva absolutely adores Tim

They have all been arrested a few times each for varying reasons when they were teenagers

If Alfred or Bruce yell one thier full names the other kids will cover for them but ONLY if they use the full name other wise it’s every man for himself

I know this one isn’t batfam but I think kon playes the electric guitar and has a really unique punk-ish vibe type singing voice (think hobo Johnson)

Dick has naturally curly hair

[the8thsphynx]

p-please sir,,,, spare Romani headcanons? spare content of doctor hero,,,?

Alright, buckle up, kiddo, it’s Romani Lovin’ Hours.

As ‘Caster Solomon’ his HGW with Marisbury:

Even though he’s fully aware of his position as a Heroic Spirit, he still hates directly having to kill an opponent or watch them die face-to-face. Instead he got most of his victories by setting up traps or by causing other Heroic Spirits and Masters who were previously in alliance to turn on each other.

Marisbury would regularly talk to him about the modern world and answer any and all of Solomon’s questions, which is what lead to Solomon wanting to become a doctor.

Very Artoria-esque with his obsession with food and sweets. ‘Marisburyyyy, can we get caaaake???’ (DW, Cooking With the Animusphere Family when?)

When he made his wish on the Holy Grail to be reincarnated, he was thrown for a loop when he didn’t stay looking the same as he did before. H went from hunky Israeli king with gorgeous silver hair to pale nerdy redhead and was only slightly dissappointed.

As ‘Romani Archaman’ before Chaldea:

He genuinely went to college to become a doctor. Thank Marisbury who was like, ‘oh, you want $100,000 to go to medical school? Sure thing, buddy, here you go.. Have fun.’ At first Romani was like ‘lmao this won’t be shit, I’ll graduate in like a year’ and then TA-DA most of his wisdom as Solomon was gone! No more Clairvoyance! His anxiety comes from both his last premonition about Goetia going apeshit and from being in fucking college.

He traveled to Japan once and that’s how he became a complete weeaboo. Congratulations, Fate Fandom, King Solomon the father of Magecraft is a bigger weeb than any of us. At least he washes himself, though.

Like we saw in Babylonia Ep 0, Romani never gave himself more than spare moments here and there to enjoy life. He was always rushing to where he felt his skills as a doctor were needed until he eventually ended up finding Marisbury again and coming to Chaldea.

As ‘Romani Archaman’ in Chaldea:

Before the place got firecracker’d by Flauros and before Olga tasted the SHEBA rainbow, Romani was head of just the medical department and therefore had full room to goof when he wasn’t working. He was still very serious about his work and gave it his all, but in between he was a N E R D.

When Olga Marie said ‘no one can take this seriously with you in the room’, she meant it. Romani is a menace in meetings. He’ll regularly blow up rubber gloves, throw paper airplanes at sleeping/dozing off staff, crack stupid jokes (dad jokes), or make gestures or faces to the general crowd when Olga got in her moods.

Please picture this man in a pink Magi Mari fan robe and headband with pink glowsticks sitting at his desk and just fucking vibing at the Magi Mari concert livestreams.

[avengerscompound]

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard, 3

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 1861

Warnings: None this chapter

Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.

Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.

Author’s Note: Written with my very own Clint Barton @fanficwriter013​

Chapter 3 - The Hair Cut

That night we all gathered together for a family meal.  Wanda and I had cooked.  She took the lead so there were a lot of Sokovian and Romany dishes, as well as some very American sides like Mac and Cheese just in case the kids were being fussy.

Thor sat with Riley in his lap as Steve put Pietro in his highchair.  “This is Riley’s highchair,”  Steve said indicating to the other chair.  “If you don’t want her wiping her sticky fingers on you while you eat.”

“Am I not meant to be a napkin?”  Thor joked.

Steve chuckled.  “You can be if you like.  But there are other options.”

“I’m sure she will love using you as a napkin.”  I teased.

“I would assume so,”  Thor said as Riley buried her face into his neck and started kicking her legs.

Wanda and I put a variety of foods into the kid’s bowls and then sat and began helping ourselves.

“Now, Natasha,”  I said when everyone had started eating.  “There’s something you need to come to terms with.”

“What’d I do?”  She asked.

“Well, see... here's the thing,”  I said, putting my fork down and looking at her.  “Out here at the compound, we can go outside with the kids and play or do whatever and we're left alone because the worst case it’s just agents around, but generally the house is isolated.  If we go back to the tower, the only way the kids can get to play outside is to go to the park, which means…”

“No,”  Nat said, firmly.  “Nope.  No.  Nuh-uh.”

“They have to be able to go outside and play, Nat,”  Sam said.

“No.”  She repeated, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Nat, they have to.  Taking out the psychological need children have to do that.  They need vitamin d to live.”  I said.

“They can play on the roof,”  Natasha said.  “You said you could make a garden for them to play in, right, Tony?”

“Yeah.  I can do that, but Nat, you can’t …”  Tony started.

“Three years!”  Natasha almost shouted.  “I have saved them from those monsters for three years!”

“I know you have, Natasha,”  I said.  “You've done a great job.  But every year you do it their world becomes smaller.  They can't just exist in a bubble where there are no other parts of the world.  They should be able to go to the beach or Disney or the park with their dog.  The longer we keep them from that the less chance they have of actually being normal kids who can interact with society.  They will grow to resent us for what we kept from them.  I know it sucks... but we have to figure out a way we can navigate in the actual world that negates the damage.”

Natasha scowled and muttered something in Russian as Clint rubbed her back.  She let out a breath and gave a slight nod.  “They need to respect their boundaries, or so help me…”

“Luckily we have someone here who grew up with it and might have some ideas,”  Steve said.

“We could take out restraining orders.  Happy was always pretty good at keeping them out of shot of me.  I’ll talk to him.  Maybe they can have a team that just stays out of sight and sweeps around.”  Tony said.

“That’s a start,”  Steve said.  “We’ll work this out, Natasha, but El is right, as much as we want to protect them, they can’t live in a bubble.”

“I want to keep them in a bubble,”  Natasha muttered.  “I mean it though, I’ll kill them if they get too close to my babies.”

“Mama!”  Pietro scolded, scrunching up his nose.  “Don’t be naughty.”

Natasha laughed so hard she snorted.  “Sorry, bud.”

“Nat snorted.” I giggled.

“El, don’t make me get in trouble with my son again.”  She warned.

“What?  It was cute.”

She eyed me but didn’t say anything and I smirked at her as I took a mouthful of my food.

“I may require some assistance here,”  Thor said.

We all looked over to him to see Riley’s hand stuck to the side of his head.  She looked distressed as Thor held her hand in place so she didn’t yank his hair out.

“Oh, damn,”  Clint said getting up and coming over to him and slowly trying to get Riley’s hand free.  “Okay, get me the vinegar.”

I got up and rushed to the kitchen, bringing back apple cider vinegar.  “Okay, bug, don’t move,”  Clint said as he began to work the vinegar into Thor’s hair and untangle Riley’s hands from it.

“Daddy!”  Riley whined as she tugged on Thor’s hair.

“Jelly Bean, your hand is literally attached to someone else right now,”  Clint said.  “You know how you complain when daddy brushes your hair too hard and it rips the knots out?  That’s what you’re doing to Daddy Thor right now.”

“Sorry, daddy.”  She said, starting to cry.

“It’s okay, princess.  I’m not angry.”  Thor said.

“I stuck.”  She said, fat tears running down her cheeks.

“I know,”  Thor said.  “Daddy Clint is going to get you out.”

“You kids need to use your forks when you eat,”  Steve said.

“Yeah, that’s the difference between babies and big kids,”  Natasha added.

“‘M a big girl.”  Riley sobbed as Pietro picked up his fork and awkwardly started to shovel Mac and Cheese into his mouth, more spilling down his front than getting in his mouth.

Clint managed to work Riley’s hand free and she stopped crying and looked up at him  “Fank you, daddy.”  She said, opening and closing her hand.

“You're welcome, sweetheart,”  Clint said wiping her hands clean.  “Now we’re going to use our fork and after dinner, you and your brother are going to have a bath.”

“Baff!”  Riley said excitedly.

“No, Baff, daddy,”  Pietro whined.

“Thor, we’re going to need to put coconut oil in your hair to untangle it properly.   Maybe a hair mask.  I can help you with that after dinner if you like.”  Clint said.

“I would appreciate that,”  Thor said.

We all finished up eating and Wanda and Sam took the kids for their bath while Clint and I took Thor to fix his hair.

“Take a seat on the edge of the tub,”  Clint said.  “Gotta rinse it out first if I’m gonna try and save it.”

Thor took his shirt off and sat down on the rim of the tub.  Clint began to fiddle with the water and started to rinse Thor’s hair.  “El, can you pass me the wide-toothed comb.”

I handed it over and he carefully began to pick out the knots with it.  “This is going to be some feat.  I hope you’re feeling patient, Thor.”  Clint said.

“You could just shave it.”  I joked.

“Yeah, that would definitely be easier.”  Clint chuckled, as he very patiently worked on Clint’s hair.

“Perhaps that would be best,”  Thor said.  “She was very upset at being stuck.  I do not like that I upset her like that.”

“You’re sure?”  I asked.

“Yes.  I’m sure.”  Thor said.

“Oh, god,”  I said, going to grab the clippers.  “I can’t believe we’re about to shave off the mighty Thor’s beautiful tresses.”

Clint began prepping the clippers while I plugged them in.  “Why are you more upset than Thor?”

I shrugged.  “I’m a dramatic bitch?”

“Okay, well. Don't scream.”  Clint said.  He turned the clippers on and ran them through Thor’s hair.

“Oh my god,”  I said as I watched.  “Don’t make him bald.”

“Don't worry, it'll look good,”  Clint said as he worked.

I watched on as Thor’s hair got shorter and shorter, his blond locks collecting on the floor around him.  I swept up as Clint went and soon it began to look more like a hair cut.  Quite like Clint’s actually.  Short, back and sides, a little more length to the top.  Clint pulled back and looked over his work.  “It’s still gonna need a treatment.”  He said.

“Coconut oil?”  I asked.

Clint nodded and grabbed a brush to sweep away the stray strands and I got the coconut oil and began to work it into Thor’s hair and scalp.

Thor looked up at me and hummed.  “Thank you both.”

“You're welcome.  Sorry about ol' sticky hands.”  I said.

He put his hand on my hips and smiled softly.  “I was warned.”

“Well, this is extreme,”  I said.  “He’s done a good job though.  Steve might say you copied him.”

Thor chuckled.  “It was getting a bit much anyway.  With all my duties I barely had time to take care of it properly.”

“Really?”  I asked, spiking it up at the top.  “But don’t you have people for that.  You had all the braids and everything.”

“I know, but… I have been growing less comfortable with asking for that level of treatment.  I know my people don’t mind but I always feel more relaxed here, when I lack all the privileges that come with the crown.”

“You feel guilty don’t you?”  I asked.  “About not being able to be here?”

“Very much.”  He agreed.

“You’re doing your best.  You’re allowed to put them down when you’re here.”  I said.  “This isn’t ideal, I know.  It wasn’t planned either and you are the king whether that’s what you want or not.”

“They don't want to be put down,”  Thor said, sounding guilty.  “They climb me.”

“I know.  They are really, really excited to see you.  And you're very strong and they like that you just put up with it.”  I said, taking a seat beside him.  “But... being a parent is more than that.  What you're being is a fun uncle.  Which... is Loki's job I guess?  You can be firm with them about boundaries.  And you should be.  That's what being a parent is.”

“I miss them when I am away.  I want to make it count.”  He said, frowning.

“They love you.  We all do.”  I said, rubbing his thigh.  “Are you seeing anyone?  Else I mean.”

“I’m supposed to.”  He said.  “But no.  Nothing else feels right outside of this.”

I rubbed his leg.  “This will always be here.”

“You can probably rinse that out now,”  Clint said sweeping the last of the hair into the trash.

I grabbed the showerhead and rinsed the oil out of his hair.  When he was done I switched it off.  “You want to check the damage?”  Clint asked.

“Please.”  Thor agreed, getting up and looking in the mirror.  “It looks good.  You are good at this.”

Clint blushed a little.  “Thanks.”

Thor pulled Clint up against him.  “No, thank you.”

Clint grinned and leaned up and kissed Thor.  Thor pulled him closer and kissed him hungrily.  Clint hummed and submitted to him, almost melting in the larger man’s embrace.  Thor pulled back and looked down at Clint, he caressed his jaw gently.  “I have missed you, little bird.”

“I missed you too,”  Clint said.

“Shall we go find the others?  Have a little fun?”  Thor suggested.

I smiled and came over and kissed his shoulder.  “I think that’s a very good idea.”

// NEXT

[idhrenniel]

What I See | Thomas Shelby

➴ Summary: Hii! Could you possibly do Thomas Shelby x reader where she's a WOC born into like a good family but she's kinda an outcast because she's a half sibling and she's scared of what people will think if they're together but Thomas fights for her and stands up for her?

➴ Pairing: Tommy Shelby / woc!fem!reader (3rd POV).

➴ Warnings: Racism and xenophobia, but nothing explicit. Also me not proof-reading as usual.

➴ Wordcount: 2.2K

➴ Tagged: @angelaiswriting

➴ Author Note: This is the first time I write for a specific-race/reader and I hope I did good. Special thanks to Em and Aara for reading this and giving it the green light. Thank you for this request!

During the previous months to the ball, (Y/N) and Thomas met in secret a few times. She would argue with her father she didn’t want to be a nuisance for him while he did business and that would be her excuse to leave the house and don’t go back until well into the night. Her father wasn’t the brightest man and fooling him around was easier than stealing a child’s candy. It was her siblings that worried her, with their ever-vigilant attitudes and sharp looks and questions too specific to be a coincidence. If she paid some attention, she could hear her sisters whispering about her in the kitchen. So far, none of her five siblings had linked her with Thomas and that was a relief. Of course, if her father were to know she had been sneaking around meeting with a man… she shuddered at the thought, not wanting to think about the punishment he’d give her. Her father wasn’t smart, no, but he was cruel and when it came to making people suffer, he knew what to do. This fear, and the fear that Thomas’s reputation and business could be damaged if people were to find out he had been sleeping with a bastard - a brown bastard for that matter, lead her to stop their encounters. She cried for an entire week, finding it difficult to fall asleep without feeling his hands on her hair, only to turn around and realize it was all her imagination. Thomas didn’t accept it, though. Not without an explanation, a reason that didn’t include the words who I am and what will they think. So (Y/N) stopped leaving her house all together in order to avoid him because she knew, if he were to kiss her once again she would leave everything behind to be with him. But she loved him and couldn’t do that to him.

It was the night of the Ball and (Y/N) was nervous, excited and worried all at once. Her father took all of his children to social gatherings, even her. It was because he wanted to make business with different ethnicities, not because he believed her equal to her siblings. However, while her sisters and brother talked with people, it was rare the time someone didn’t mistake her for a waitress… or a whore, and once realization hit in, no one bothered to talk to her again. Some were different, though.

Thomas was different. (Y/N) met him in one of those business meetings disguised as social events. As per usual, her father wanted to make them believe he was open to all races and ethnicities since, well, since he had a brown daughter. All she could gather from her siblings - who had been left behind that night, was that he was a romani business man from Birmingham and that his wife died, making him a single father. (Y/N) didn’t know what to expect of him - would he be nice, cold, distant? Would he be like all the other men her father did business with? Would he be like her father? It was a great and pleasant surprise when she found out Thomas was none of those things. Upon meeting her, he had been polite and courteous, treating her like a human being and not the bastard, brown daughter of James Harrison. She and Thomas had danced, talked, laughed. He seemed to be a determined man, who loved his son and spoke of him with a pride she could but dream of. Unlike the men that, in the past, tried to get with her, he had been interested about her life, her feelings and passions. Thomas took the time to know her. So, when a week later he asked to meet for tea, she didn’t have to be told twice. (Y/N) had kept this a secret, of course. But falling in love with him was the easiest thing she’s ever done - if he was the ocean, she had jumped head first to be there forever.

“(Y/N)!” The stern voice of her father brought her back from her thoughts. She turned around, holding her breath as she faced him. “What’s taking so long? We’re going to be late.”

She wanted to give him a smart answer, but then she’d risk being left at home. No, she couldn’t. She needed to see Thomas, even if from afar. “I didn’t notice the time, father. I’ll be down in a moment.”

James nodded, walking out of her bedroom and downstairs. (Y/N) grabbed her purse and, looking at herself in the mirror she made sure her makeup and hair were perfect, then followed him.

In the car, she could hear her father talking to her siblings, sometimes even to her. He was explaining her brother how he would, when the moment was right, inherit the business and then he would have to make sure his sisters - note, he never meant her, were married off to good men that would provide for them and their children. It sounded like a boring, despicable life in her opinion. But what would she know? If she ever wanted to get married, she better start running.

“And (Y/N)?” Hearing her name, she turned around to see her brother looking at her. He wasn’t a bad brother, in fact he was a great one. He cared for her, one could even tell he was proud, but for him the most important thing was to, after their father, take over. Such a plan could never include her. “Should I make sure she’s married to a good man, too?” One of her sisters snickered.

Another barged in. “You’d have to promise them a lot of money!” This made her siblings laugh - her brother looking uncomfortable. Her father simply rolled his eyes, ordering them to shut up.

(Y/N) didn’t bother to react. She had grown used to comments like that, having heard them all her life. It had come to a point that, as much as the bastards tried, couldn’t earn a reaction from her. She had learnt her emotions were better hid inside and to let go in the solitude of her bedroom. Or in Thomas’s arms. Everything felt better in Thomas’s arms.

The car stopped and her father got out, then her brother and then her sisters. She was the last. (Y/N) got a hold of her father’s arm, as instructed, and walked in with him. It was… a lot. White and gold in the walls and people dressed up like the King would attend (he’d do, somehow- if Thomas counted). Before she noticed, her siblings had dispersed, eager to make business and find those good men to trick into a marriage. (Y/N) and James walked towards Thomas’s direction. She couldn’t look up from the floor, even when her father stopped and she could see Thomas’s shoes in front of her. James, not understanding and not caring, let go of her arm but not without twisting it first. (Y/N) looked up, meeting Thomas’s gaze that hadn’t left her since she entered the venue. She wanted to spend the rest of her life looking at him. Perhaps with a ring on her finger. But those were stupid dreams.

James clapped his hands, laughing. “What’s the special ocassion? Is the King coming?”

“King’s here, Mr. Harrison.�� Thomas looked at James, dead stare on. Her father stopped laughing. He was much older than Thomas, had killed more men, but was still afraid. It was impossible not to be. Thomas gave him a quick smile. “Mind if I dance with (Y/N)?”

I mind, she wanted to say. But the explanations that would have to follow were too long and dangerous for her to do. She smiled, taking Thomas’s hand and letting him walk her to the dancefloor. As soon as his hand fell on her waist, she shuddered. He chuckled. Oh, she wanted to slap him. And kiss him. And let him hold her until the sun was up and her feet were bleeding.

Thomas spun her around, not letting her go further than an inch from him. His gaze was so focused on her she was starting to think he wanted to read her mind.

At last, he spoke. “You look beautiful.” She smiled. “People’s been whispering since you came in.”

He spoke with such pride, he didn’t know what he was talking about. Her smile faltered. “See, Tommy. That has everything to do with how I look - but now because I look beautiful.”

It took him a moment, a moment too long. She stopped dancing and apologized, claiming she wasn’t feeling well. She spoke loud, loud enough for her father to hear. (Y/N) walked fast, with Thomas close behind her. It earn them curious and confused gazes, none of them cared about it, though.

“(Y/N)!” She supported herself against the balcony wall, inhaling the fresh air. Thomas stopped right behind her, repeating her name this time in a whisper. She could feel the hesitation to touch her and she almost wanted to turn around and throw herself in his arms. “I didn’t meant…”

A silence, as cold and dark as that night, fell upon them. How could she explain?

All her life, (Y/N) was an outcast. First, for being a bastard. Her mother was a whore from Delhi, whom she had never met. Then, because no matter how much makeup she put on her face she would never have the fair skin her siblings and father shared. She wasn’t white, it was something she had come to accept as she was growing up. Used to the insults, the laughs, the second glances. Hell, none of that bothered her! (Y/N) was proud of who she was and how she looked like, but at the same time was well aware of the implications for a man like Thomas to be with a woman like her. Her surname meant nothing when her skin spoke for her. Her children’s surname would mean nothing, because their skin would speak for them too.

“You don’t understand,” she whispered, turning around to look at him. “You look and act like a white man, ignoring or dismissing the romani blood that runs through your veins. But I can’t do that.” (Y/N) took a step forward, chuckling as she shook her head. “I can wear expensive dresses, wear my hair the same way they do - speak four languages and be the smartest - fuck, and the prettiest out of all my sisters. And still, it doesn’t matter. They don’t see me-”

“I see you.” Thomas interrupted her. In another moment she would be pissed he had done such, but her voice was breaking and sobs threatened to escape. He held her face. “Not a Harrison, not a bastard, not an outcast. I see a beautiful, intelligent brown woman. A woman I want to wake up next to until I die, have children with. A woman I’m proud to love.” He put emphasis in her skin colour, his voice filled with such love she couldn’t keep the sobs in now. In the past, men had been interested in her, looking past the fact that she wasn’t a white woman. Her friends used to dismiss it, ignoring the things she went through because of it. No one ever sat down and cared about how her experiences as a woman of colour were different from those of a white woman, and no one but herself had ever embraced her skin like that. But her worries were still there and he spoke before she could: “You think our children will have it difficult. See, that’s the thing. Those children are going to be gypsies, Shelbys. No one in their right mind, on this life or the next, will fuck with them. So I’m going to ask this, once again, with my heart in my hand. (Y/N)-” he got down on one knee. “Will you honour me and become my wife?”

(Y/N) laughed at his words, nodding. Thomas lifted her up from the floor and spun them around, laughing. He kissed her, slow and tender. A promise to her and to their future.

After that, he took her hand and both walked back into the venue, where people stopped talking and dancing to look at them.

Thomas leaned in to whisper in her ear: “shall we?” She nodded. It wasn’t the first time Thomas asked her to be his wife. In fact, he had done such multiple times, ring and all.

“Ladies and gentlemen. You must be wondering the reason behind this rushed event. It’s a beautiful night and we wanted to announce, we’re getting married.” Thomas ignored the gasps and whispers. (Y/N) didn’t even look at the people, focusing on him. “(Y/N) is a woman I’ve had the pleasure to meet these past months, someone I’m proud to love and who loves me as well. We wanted it to be public as soon as possible, and that’s now. In a few weeks, (Y/N) will stop being a Harrison to become-” he didn’t bother to hide the smile. “-a Shelby. (Y/N) Shelby.”

(Y/N) kissed him, she could almost feel her sisters’ rage from where she was standing. Almost. But with him at her side, nothing of the sort would ever matter again. She knew who she was, she loved who she was. And so did Thomas.

[blackkudos]

Luther Vandross

Luther Ronzoni Vandross Jr. (April 20, 1951 – July 1, 2005) was an American singer, songwriter, and record producer. Throughout his career, Vandross was an in-demand background vocalist for several different artists including Todd Rundgren, Judy Collins, Chaka Khan, Bette Midler, Diana Ross, David Bowie, Ben E. King, and Donna Summer. He later became a lead singer of the group Change, which released its gold-certified debut album, The Glow of Love, in 1980 on Warner/RFC Records. After Vandross left the group, he was signed to Epic Records as a solo artist and released his debut solo album, Never Too Much, in 1981.

His hit songs include "Never Too Much", "Here and Now", "Any Love", "Power of Love/Love Power", "I Can Make It Better" and "For You to Love". Many of his songs were covers of original music by other artists such as "If This World Were Mine" (duet with Cheryl Lynn), "Since I Lost My Baby", "Superstar" and "Always and Forever". Duets such as "The Closer I Get to You" with Beyoncé, "Endless Love" with Mariah Carey and "The Best Things in Life Are Free" with Janet Jackson were all hit songs in his career.

During his career, Vandross sold over 35 million records worldwide, and received eight Grammy Awards including Best Male R&B Vocal Performance four different times. He won a total of four Grammy Awards in 2004 including the Grammy Award for Song of the Year for a song recorded not long before his death, "Dance with My Father".

Early life

Luther Ronzoni Vandross, Jr. was born on April 20, 1951, at Bellevue Hospital, in the Kips Bay neighborhood of Manhattan, New York City. He was the fourth child and second son of Mary Ida Vandross and Luther Vandross, Sr. His father was an upholsterer and singer, and his mother was a nurse. Vandross was raised in Manhattan's Lower East Side in the NYCHA Alfred E. Smith Houses public housing development. At the age of three, having his own phonograph, Vandross taught himself to play the piano by ear.

Vandross's father died of diabetes when Vandross was eight years old. In 2003, Vandross wrote the song "Dance with My Father" and dedicated it to him; the title was based on his childhood memories and his mother's recollections of the family singing and dancing in the house. His family moved to the Bronx when he was nine. His sisters, Patricia "Pat" and Ann began taking Vandross to the Apollo Theater and to a theater in Brooklyn to see Dionne Warwick and Aretha Franklin. Patricia sang with the vocal group The Crests and was featured on the songs "My Juanita" and "Sweetest One".

Vandross graduated from William Howard Taft High School in the Bronx in 1969, and attended Western Michigan University for a year before dropping out to continue pursuing a career in music.

Career

While in high school, Vandross founded the first Patti LaBelle fan club, of which he was president. He also performed in a group, Shades of Jade, that once played at the Apollo Theater. During his early years in show business he appeared several times at the Apollo's famous amateur night. While a member of a theater workshop, Listen My Brother, he was involved in the singles "Only Love Can Make a Better World" and "Listen My Brother". He appeared with the group in several episodes of the first season of Sesame Street during 1969–1970.

1970s: Back-up vocalist and first groups

Vandross added backing vocals to Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway in 1972, and worked on Delores Hall's Hall-Mark album (1973). He sang with her on the song "Who's Gonna Make It Easier for Me", which he wrote, and he contributed another song, "In This Lonely Hour". Having co-written "Fascination" for David Bowie's Young Americans (1975), he went on to tour with him as a back-up vocalist in September 1974. Vandross wrote "Everybody Rejoice" for the 1975 Broadway musical The Wiz.

Vandross also sang backing vocals for artists including Roberta Flack,Chaka Khan, Ben E. King, Bette Midler, Diana Ross, Carly Simon, Barbra Streisand, and Donna Summer, and for the bands Mandrill, Chic and Todd Rundgren's Utopia.

Before his solo breakthrough, Vandross was part of a singing quintet in the late 1970s named Luther, consisting of former Shades of Jade members Anthony Hinton and Diane Sumler, as well as Theresa V. Reed, and Christine Wiltshire, signed to Cotillion Records. Although the singles "It's Good for the Soul", "Funky Music (Is a Part of Me)", and "The Second Time Around" were relatively successful, their two albums, the self-titled Luther (1976) and This Close to You (1977), which Vandross produced, did not sell enough to make the charts. Vandross bought back the rights to those albums after Cotillion dropped the group, preventing them from being re-released.

Vandross also wrote and sang commercial jingles from 1977 until the early 1980s, for companies including NBC, Mountain Dew, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and Juicy Fruit. He continued his successful career as a popular session singer during the late 1970s.

In 1978, Vandross sang lead vocals for Greg Diamond's disco band, Bionic Boogie, on the song titled "Hot Butterfly". Also in 1978, he appeared on Quincy Jones's Sounds...and Stuff Like That!!, most notably on the song "I'm Gonna Miss You in the Morning" along with Patti Austin. Vandross also sang with the band Soirée and was the lead vocalist on the track "You Are the Sunshine of My Life"; he also contributed background vocals to the album along with Jocelyn Brown and Sharon Redd, each of whom also saw solo success. Additionally, he sang the lead vocals on the group Mascara's LP title song "See You in L.A." released in 1979. Vandross also appeared on the group Charme's 1979 album Let It In.

1980s: Change and solo breakthrough

Vandross made his career breakthrough as a featured singer with the vaunted pop-dance act Change, a studio concept created by French-Italian businessman Jacques Fred Petrus. Their 1980 hits, "The Glow of Love" (by Romani, Malavasi and Garfield) and "Searching" (by Malavasi), featured Vandross as the lead singer. In a 2001 interview with Vibe, Vandross said "The Glow of Love" was "the most beautiful song I've ever sung in my life." Both songs were from Change's debut album, The Glow of Love.

Vandross was originally intended to perform on their second and highly successful album Miracles in 1981, but declined the offer as Petrus didn't pay enough money. Vandross's decision led to a recording contract with Epic Records that same year, but he also provided background vocals on "Miracles" and on the new Petrus-created act, the B. B. & Q. Band in 1981. During that hectic year Vandross jump-started his second attempt at a solo career with his debut album, Never Too Much. In addition to the hit title track it contained a version of the Dionne Warwick song "A House Is Not a Home".

The song "Never Too Much", written by him, reached number-one on the R&B charts. This period also marked the beginning of songwriting collaboration with bassist Marcus Miller, who played on many of the tracks and would also produce or co-produce a number of tracks for Vandross. The Never Too Much album was arranged by Vandross's high school classmate Nat Adderley, Jr., a collaboration that would last through Vandross's career.

Vandross released a series of successful R&B albums during the 1980s and continued his session work with guest vocals on groups like Charme in 1982. Many of his earlier albums made a bigger impact on the R&B charts than on the pop charts. During the 1980s, two of Vandross's singles reached No. 1 on the Billboard R&B charts: "Stop to Love", in 1986, and a duet with Gregory Hines—"There's Nothing Better Than Love." Vandross was at the helm as producer for Aretha Franklin's Gold-certified, award-winning comeback album Jump to It. He also produced the follow-up album, 1983's Get It Right.

In 1983, the opportunity to work with his main musical influence, Dionne Warwick, came about with Vandross producing, writing songs, and singing on How Many Times Can We Say Goodbye, her fourth album for Arista Records. The title track duet reached No. 27 on the Hot 100 chart (#7 R&B/#4 Adult Contemporary), while the second single, "Got a Date" was a moderate hit (#45 R&B/#15 Club Play).

Vandross wrote and produced "It's Hard for Me to Say" for Diana Ross from her Red Hot Rhythm & Blues album. Ross performed the song as an a cappella tribute to Oprah Winfrey on her final season of The Oprah Winfrey Show. She then proceeded to add it to her successful 2010–12 "More Today Than Yesterday: The Greatest Hits Tour. Vandross also recorded a version of this song on his Your Secret Love album in 1996.

In December 1985, Vandross filed a libel suit against a British magazine after it attributed his 85-pound weight loss to AIDS. He weighed 325 pounds when he started a diet in May that year.

In 1985, Vandross first spotted the talent of Jimmy Salvemini, who was fifteen at the time, on Star Search. He thought Salvemini had the perfect voice for some of his songs, and contacted him. He was managed by his brother, Larry Salvemini. A contract was negotiated with Elektra Records for $250,000 and Vandross agreed to produce the album. He contacted his old friends - Cheryl Lynn, Alfa Anderson (Chic), Phoebe Snow and Irene Cara - to appear on the record. After the album was completed, Luther, Jimmy, and Larry decided to celebrate. On January 12, 1986, they were riding in Vandross's 1985 convertible Mercedes-Benz on Laurel Canyon Boulevard, in the north section of Hollywood Hills in Los Angeles. Luther was driving at 48 mph in a 35 mph zone when his Mercedes veered across the double yellow center line of the two lane street, turned sideways and collided with the front of a 1972 Mercury Marquis that was headed southbound, then swung around and hit a 1979 Cadillac Seville head on. Vandross and Jimmy were rushed to the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Larry, who was in the passenger seat, was killed during the collision. Vandross suffered three broken ribs, a broken hip, several bruises and facial cuts. Jimmy, who was in the back of the car, had cuts, bruises and contusions. Vandross faced vehicular manslaughter charges as a result of Larry's death, and his driving license was suspended for a year. There was no evidence Vandross was under the influence of alcohol or other drugs; he pleaded no contest to reckless driving. At first, the Salvemini family was supportive of Vandross, but later filed a wrongful death suit against him. The case was settled out of court with a payment to the Salvemini family for about $630,000. Jimmy Salvemini's album, Roll It, was released later that year.

Vandross also sang the ad-libs and background vocals, along with Syreeta Wright and Philip Bailey, in Stevie Wonder's 1985 hit "Part-Time Lover". In 1986, he voiced a cartoon character named Zack for ABC's Zack of All Trades, a three Saturday morning animated PSA spots.

The 1989 compilation album The Best of Luther Vandross... The Best of Love included the ballad "Here and Now", his first single to chart in the Billboard pop chart top ten, peaking at number six.

1990s

In 1990, Vandross wrote, produced and sang background for Whitney Houston in a song entitled "Who Do You Love" which appeared on her I'm Your Baby Tonight album. That year, he guest starred on the television sitcom 227.

More albums followed in the 1990s, beginning with 1991's Power of Love which spawned two top ten pop hits. He won his first Grammy award for Best Male R&B Vocal Performance in 1991. He won his second Best Male R&B Vocal in the Grammy Awards of 1992, and his track "Power of Love/Love Power" won the Grammy Award for Best R&B Song in the same year. In 1992, "The Best Things in Life Are Free", a duet with Janet Jackson from the movie Mo' Money became a hit. In 1993, he had a brief non-speaking role in the Robert Townsend movie The Meteor Man. He played a hit man who plotted to stop Townsend's title character.

Vandross hit the top ten again in 1994, teaming with Mariah Carey on a cover version of Lionel Richie and Diana Ross's duet "Endless Love". It was included on the album Songs, a collection of songs which had inspired Vandross over the years. He also appears on "The Lady Is a Tramp" released on Frank Sinatra's Duets album. At the Grammy Awards of 1997, he won his third Best Male R&B Vocal for the track "Your Secret Love".

A second greatest hits album, released in 1997, compiled most of his 1990s hits and was his final album released through Epic Records. After releasing I Know on Virgin Records, he signed with J Records. His first album on Clive Davis's new label, entitled Luther Vandross, was released in 2001, and it produced the hits "Take You Out" (#7 R&B/#26 Pop), and "I'd Rather" (#17 Adult Contemporary/#40 R&B/#83 Pop). Vandross scored at least one top 10 R&B hit every year from 1981–1994.

In 1997, Vandross sang the American national anthem, "The Star-Spangled Banner", during Super Bowl XXXI at the Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana.

2000s

He made two public appearances at Diana Ross's Return to Love Tour: at its opening in Philadelphia at First Union Spectrum and its final stop at Madison Square Garden on July 6, 2000.

In September 2001, Vandross performed a rendition of Michael Jackson's hit song "Man in the Mirror" at Jackson's 30th Anniversary special, alongside Usher and 98 Degrees.

In 2002, he performed his final concerts during his last tour, The BK Got Soul Tour starring Vandross featuring Angie Stone and Gerald Levert.

In the spring of 2003, Vandross's last collaboration was Doc Powell's "What's Going On", a cover of Marvin Gaye from Powell's album 97th and Columbus.

In 2003, Vandross released the album Dance with My Father. It sold 442,000 copies in the first week and debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 album chart. The title track of the same name, which was dedicated to Vandross's childhood memories of dancing with his father, won Vandross and his co-writer, Richard Marx, the 2004 Grammy Award for Song of the Year. The song also won Vandross his fourth and final award in the Best Male R&B Vocal Performance category. The album was his only career No. 1 on the Billboard album chart. The video for the title track features various celebrities alongside their fathers and other family members. The second single released from the album, "Think About You", was the number one Urban Adult Contemporary Song of 2004 according to Radio & Records.

In 2003, after the televised NCAA Men's Basketball championship, CBS Sports gave "One Shining Moment" a new look. Vandross, who had been to only one basketball game in his life, was the new singer, and the video had none of the special effects, like glowing basketballs and star trails, that videos from previous years had. This song version is in use today.

Personal life

Vandross was never married and had no children. His older siblings all predeceased him.

Vandross's sexual orientation was a subject of media speculation. Jason King, writing in Vandross's obituary in The Village Voice, said: "Though he never came out as gay or bisexual, you had to be wearing blinders." According to Gene Davis, a television producer who worked with Vandross, "Everybody in the business knew that Luther was gay". In 2006, Bruce Vilanch, a friend and colleague of Vandross, told Out magazine, "He said to me, 'No one knows I'm in the life.' ... He had very few sexual contacts". According to Vilanch, Vandross experienced his longest romantic relationship with a man while living in Los Angeles during the late 1980s and early 1990s. In December 2017, his friend Patti LaBelle confirmed that Vandross was, in fact, gay.

Illness and death

Vandross suffered from diabetes and hypertension. On April 16, 2003, Vandross suffered a severe stroke at his home in New York City and was in a coma for nearly two months. The stroke affected his ability to speak and sing, and required him to use a wheelchair.

At the 2004 Grammy Awards, Vandross appeared in a pre-taped video segment to accept his Song of the Year Award for "Dance with My Father", saying, "When I say goodbye it's never for long, because I believe in the power of love" (Vandross sang the last six words). His mother, Mary, accepted the award in person on his behalf. His last public appearance was on May 6, 2004, on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Vandross died on July 1, 2005, at the JFK Medical Center in Edison, New Jersey, at the age of 54 of a heart attack.

Vandross's funeral was held at Riverside Church in New York City on July 8, 2005. Cissy Houston, founding member of The Sweet Inspirations and mother of Whitney Houston, sang at the funeral service. Vandross was entombed at the George Washington Memorial Park in Paramus, New Jersey. He was survived by his mother, Mary Ida Vandross, who died in 2008.

Voice

Possessing a tenor vocal range, Vandross was commonly referred to as "The Velvet Voice" in reference to his exceptional vocal talent, and was sometimes called "The Best Voice of a Generation". He was also regarded as the "Pavarotti of Pop" by many critics.

In 2008, Vandross was ranked No. 54 on Rolling Stone magazine's List of 100 Greatest Singers of All Time. Mariah Carey stated several times in interviews that standing next to Vandross while recording their duet "Endless Love" was intimidating.

By popular vote, Vandross was inducted into The SoulMusic Hall of Fame at SoulMusic.com in December 2012.

Tribute

In 1999, Whitney Houston sang Vandross's "So Amazing" as a tribute to Vandross as he sat in the audience during the Soul Train Awards. Johnny Gill, El DeBarge, and Kenny Lattimore provided background vocals. On July 27, 2004, GRP Records released a smooth jazz various artists tribute album, Forever, for Always, for Luther, including ten popular songs written by Vandross. The album featured vocal arrangements by Luther, and was produced by Rex Rideout and Bud Harner. Rideout had co-authored songs, contributed arrangements and played keyboards on Vandross's final three albums. The tribute album was mixed by Ray Bardani, who recorded and mixed most of Luther's music over the years. It featured an ensemble of smooth jazz performers, many of whom had previously worked with Vandross.

On September 20, 2005, the album So Amazing: An All-Star Tribute to Luther Vandross was released. The album is a collection of some of his songs performed by various artists, including Stevie Wonder, Mary J. Blige, Usher, Fantasia, Beyoncé, Donna Summer, Alicia Keys, Elton John, Celine Dion, Wyclef Jean, Babyface, Patti LaBelle, John Legend, Angie Stone, Jamie Foxx, Teddy Pendergrass, and Aretha Franklin. Aretha Franklin won a Grammy for her rendition of "A House Is Not a Home", and Stevie Wonder and Beyoncé won a Grammy for their cover of "So Amazing".

The violin duo Nuttin' But Stringz did a remix of the song "Dance with My Father" for their album Struggle from the Subway to the Charts, which was released on October 3, 2006.On November 21, 2006, saxophonist Dave Koz released a followup to the earlier smooth jazz GRP tribute album, this time on his own Rendezvous Entertainment label, an album called Forever, for Always, for Luther Volume II, also produced by Rex Rideout and Bud Harner. Dave Koz played on all the featured Luther Vandross tracks, which were recorded by various smooth jazz artists.

In 2007, Deniece Williams included "Never Too Much" on her Love, Niecy Style CD. Williams said that she recorded the song to say "I love you" to her old friend. In the music video "Bye Bye" from Mariah Carey Vandross's picture appears in the closing images. His image was included as a tribute along with various other deceased people with whom Carey had collaborated.

In 2008, Keyshia Cole sang the outro to "Luther Vandross" on "Playa Cardz Right", which featured rapper Tupac Shakur from her 2008 album, A Different Me. Guitarist Norman Brown did a rendition of "Any Love" on his 1994 album After The Storm. R&B band 112 sampled Vandross's "Don't You Know That" to make their song "Love Me" on their second album Room 112. Saxophonist Boney James covered his rendition on his final track "The Night I Fell in Love" on Backbone in 1994.

Vandross has been cited as an influence on a number of other artists, including 112, Boyz II Men, D'Angelo, Hootie & the Blowfish, Jaheim, John Legend, Mint Condition, Ne-Yo, Ruben Studdard, and Usher. Stokley Williams, the lead singer of Mint Condition, has said that he has "studied Luther for such a long time because he was the epitome of perfect tone." On his influence, John Legend has said, "All us people making slow jams now, we was inspired by the slow jams Luther Vandross was making."

In 2010, NPR included Vandross in its 50 Greatest Voices in recorded history, saying Vandross represents "the platinum standard for R&B song stylings." The announcement was made on NPR's All Things Considered on November 29, 2010.

Author Craig Seymour wrote a book about Vandross called Luther: The Life and Longing of Luther Vandross. The book includes numerous interviews with Vandross.

New releases

J Records released a song, "Shine"—an upbeat R&B track that samples Chic's disco song "My Forbidden Lover"—which reached No. 31 on the Billboard R&B chart. The song was originally slated to be released on the soundtrack to the movie, The Fighting Temptations, but it was shelved. A later remix of the song peaked at No. 10 on the Club Play chart. "Shine" and a track titled "Got You Home" were previously unreleased songs on The Ultimate Luther Vandross (2006), a greatest hits album on Epic Records/J Records/Legacy Recordings that was released August 22, 2006.

On October 16, 2007, Epic Records/J Records/Legacy Recordings released a 4-disc boxed set titled Love, Luther. It features nearly all of Vandross's R&B and pop hits throughout his career, as well as unreleased live tracks, alternate versions, and outtakes from sessions that Vandross recorded. The set also includes "There's Only You", a version of which had originally appeared on the soundtrack to the 1987 film Made in Heaven.

In October 2015, Sony Music released a re-configured edition of its The Essential Luther Vandross compilation containing three unreleased songs: "Love It, Love It" (which made its premiere a year prior on the UK compilation The Greatest Hits), a live recording of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" with Paul Simon and Jennifer Holliday, and a cover of Astrud Gilberto's "Look to the Rainbow."

Discography

Luther (1976)

This Close to You (1977)

Never Too Much (1981)

Forever, for Always, for Love (1982)

Busy Body (1983)

The Night I Fell in Love (1985)

Give Me the Reason (1986)

Any Love (1988)

Power of Love (1991)

Never Let Me Go (1993)

Songs (1994)

This Is Christmas (1995)

Your Secret Love (1996)

I Know (1998)

Luther Vandross (2001)

Dance with My Father (2003)

Tours

Luther Tour (1981)

Forever For Always For Love Tour (1982–1983)

Busy Body Tour (1984)

The Night I Fell in Love Tour (1985–1986)

Give Me the Reason Tour (1987)

Any Love World Tour (1988–1989)

Best of Love Tour (1990)

The Power of Love Tour (1991)

Never Let Me Go World Tour (1993–1994)

Your Secret Love World Tour (1997)

Take You Out Tour (2001–2002)

BK Got Soul Tour (2002)

Awards

Grammy AwardSoul Train Music AwardsAmerican Music AwardHollywood Walk of Fame

Inducted: Star (Posthumous; June 3, 2014)

See also

List of quiet storm songs

Luther Burger

Craig Seymour

[table-top-romulan-playing-games]

Movies I have seen so far in 2018

A few of these arent new movies, just ones ive watched for the first time in 2018. I felt like doing this cuz I really love watching movies and felt that it might be a good version of those "good things" jars, but instead it's movies I saw. Some reviews are short, mostly cuz I didnt really have much in the way of opinions, but I did have something to say.

Just incase you havent seen them. I have tried to keep them spoiler free, but if you dont want even vague non spoiler spoilers, the list of movies is as follows; 

The Grand Budapest; The greatest showman; Jumanji: out of the jungle, King Arthur: legend of the sword, The Black Panther, Shape of water, Thor Ragnarok, the Emoji Movie, the Good Dinosaur, Jurassic world, Incredibles 2, Hotel Transylvania 3, Ant-man, A Wrinkle in Time, Lara croft: tomb raider, Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2, Spider-man homecoming, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged), Captain America civil war, Avengers Infinty War, Deadpool 2016, King Arthur the one with kiera knightly, Deadpool 2, The Nutcracker, four realms, Venom, Love, Simon, Ready player one, Aquaman, Solo, a star wars story, Ghost stories (2018), Wreck it Ralph, Ralph breaks the internet, Goosebumps 2, Hidden figures, The meg, Pacific Rim, Pacific rim uprising, Wrath of the Titans, Mission impossible: fallout,Oceans 8, The Breadwinner, Mune, Operation Finale, The House With A Clock In Its Walls, Bad times at the El Royale, Outlaw king, Gnome alone, Journey to the center of the earth, Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, Vvitch, Ex machina, To all the boys ive loved before, Extraordinary Tales, The Golden Compass, Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil, Dragon heart, The black klansman, Robin Hood 2018, The Princess of Thieves, First Man, Bohemian Rhapsody, What we do in the Shadows, Overlord, For the Love of Spock, Next Gen, Small Foot, The Spy who Dumped Me, The Nun, Kin, Crazy Rich Asians, Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse, A simple favor, Predator 2018, Rampage, 47 meters down, 2036 Origin Unknown, 2001 A Space Oddessey, The Martian

The grand Budapest hotel - good, great visuals. I enjoyed it.

The greatest showman - wonderful music, actual circus parts were good, the rest was boring. Its really short, and I felt it focused to much on the drama in pt barnums life, too much focus on a silly fuax love triangle, not enough on the acts themselves. I went in hoping to see the acts interact and actually be presented as the forefront. The beginning showed this magnificent scene with the acts, with this wonderful musical number that made me tear up. But then, it was just about Barnum and his kids being boring most of the time. The songs and musical scenes though? Absolutely wonderful, magnificent, stunning, and entertaining. Zendayas and Zac efrons characters duets? Beautiful, I loved the song and choreography. I just feel like the emphasis should have been on the circus itself. Hugh jackman. Needs. To. Do. More. Musicals.

Jumanji: out of the jungle - hilarious omg I laughed my ass off!

King Arthur: legend of the sword: wtf was this movie bro? I mean. I have a new song in my cars playlist, but wtf.

The Black Panther - IT WAS SO COOL! I loved the visuals and the storyline. Shuri is my favorite genius and I can’t wait for more Black Panther

Shape of water: absolutely beautiful omg

Thor Ragnarok: you mean that was the actual movie, that tumblr wasn’t just fuckin with me, like, those were real ass scenes that were filmed?

the Emoji Movie: bad, forgettable, literally did not remember watching it till a friend asked me.

the Good Dinosaur: literally a children's movie, idek why I watched it tbh

Jurassic world: THE HUBRIS OF MAN! THE INDO RAPTOR! BLUE! They made... An indoraptor. Not just any raptor, oh no, that's not enough for the hubris of man, its an indoraptor. What's an indoraptor you may ask? Well it's when you mix a raptor, with the indominous rex DNA. But Cotie, didn't the indominous rex already have raptor DNA? Wasnt that the whole thing that it was a t-rex with raptor DNA? Yes, yes it was. But this one is different, it's smaller, it's smarter, it made to obey commands like a war machine, it's the I N D O R A P T O R! So it's just a super powered velociraptor? Yes, yes it is. So what makes it special? THE HUBRIS BEHIND IT!

Incredibles 2: awesome! I loved it! Those flashing scenes really were no joke though. I don't have epilepsy, but damn those scenes were hard to look at. But I absolutely love the fact that edna babysat jack jack for a night, and gave him a super babysuit. I hope we get to see more of the other superheroes helping out the incredibles!

Hotel Transylvania 3: it was a good movie. Its the only Adam Sandler movie series I can stand, but it was a decent movie. I like the introduction of the van helsing family, and the whole premise. Plus I love the message that its possible to fall in love again.

Ant-man: "in like the Flynn" niiiiiiiiice Tangled ref! "ANT-THONY!!!!" Ok that was a fun and hilarious movie. I fucking love the three wombats, especially Luis omg. Also I love Scott lang relationship with his daughter and that he was the driving force behind his motivation. Also not gonna lie, I kinda watched this one so I could go see Ant-man and the Wasp, but I liked this one too.

A Wrinkle in Time: FUCK ITUNES NOT WANTING TO WORK DURING THIS MOVIE! ok but Chris Pine as a Dad? Awesome. "Happy anniversary, if only you'd dissapear too" wow, these high school preps are viscous. Also I love the little kid calling out grown ups for being pieces of shits. Also this movie was adorable and heart felt and I loved the mix of fantasy and science that made it a science fantasy movie omg.

Lara croft: tomb raider: ok but the girl who kicked Lara crofts butt in the beginning has me gay as Fuck man. "OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!" OK calm down Nicolas cage.

Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2: omg that was indeed another real marvel movie I had just seen. I can't believe the stooges are a space family that just, does stupid things. I love them all. 

We gonna start some parralels; a wrinkle in time - a movie about two siblings trying to find their dad who has been lost for 4 years. They get him back through the power of love; Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - a daughter finds some adverturing stuff to lead her to her father who had been missing for 7 years. Tries to get him back by killing men. Doesn't, and then kills more men; Gaurdians of the Galaxy volume 2: a boy finds his father after 34 years, but turns out he is a huge fucking jerk, also finds that Mary poppins was his dad after all, but then both Mary poppins and jerk dad died, with varying degrees of mourning from Boy.

Spider-man homecoming: omg so many second hand embarrassment scenes but it was so good! I laughed my ass off at the ending omg tony no. But also, that awkward moment when ur dates dad threatens your life and he actually meant it...

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Dude. Duuuuuuude that end credit scene. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. That movie was just as hilarious as the first ant-man movie omg! It was fun and incredibal and I'm so happy the 3 combats were there. I was losing my shit over the baba yaga stuff!

Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged): god, I'm 9 minutes in and I hate this movie... 13 minutes in an ur telling me this could've been avoided if marvel hadnt turned two Romani (from what I remember of mutant canon) characters into, not only human expirements instead of mutants, but voluntary hydra agents. -sighhhh-... 20 minutes in and why, why Tony, just... Tell the team, why do we gotta have lazy 'i dont wanna communicate' writing bullshit...Jarrrrrviiiiissssss my boy T.T... Did they really just try to make dissimising female characters and using their achievements as a sort of 'my horse is bigger than yours' as quality character writing? God this Bruce/Nat romance is so forced... Oh no, Ultron fucking appeared, why does he sound like a bad Tony stark impression? Ultron is fucking annoying... Fuck man, the plot with the twins have arrived, and I hate it... -mentions Wakanda- thanks for reminding of a better movie I could be watching... God, the acting is either way too dry, or way too ham... Wow... Clint is... The most mature person in the movie... Wow, the scene where Nat reveals she is infertile, is worse than I thought it would be, and I knew it would be awful... Hour and a half in, still bad... Though ultron is now acting like a c h i l d... Oh no, now we creating Ultron 2.0 this time its Jarvis... Please discuss it with the team, pleeeease... Annnnnnnd U didn't... Fuck... I'm so tired, 1 hour and 31 minutes and the team is fighting... Thor coming in for the jarvis Saaaave! Yassss vision with the worthy of the hammer! Okay the battle scene with ultron was pretty cool. Still dont like the movie over all.

Captain America civil war: not as much fighting as advertised. Too much 'we arent going to sit down and communicate' trope. Honestly I was too bored and tired to really actually pay attention to closely... All I got from it is the russos need to learn what a get along shirt is and be better film makers.

Avengers Infinty War: wtf, what the fuck, was that. That was some fuck right there. You are telling me thanos was really able to get the soul stone like That? And the mind stone like That? And all that other bull shit? Y'all Russo better be ready to have thanos ass kick in the next avengers movie. But damn that was some shit that happened.

Deadpool 2016: I loved every bit of the movie omg, it was everything I hoped for out of a deadpool movie.

King Arthur the one with kiera knightly: That uh, sure was a King Arthur movie? Way less weird than King Arthur Legend of the sword. Merlin didnt cast magic, and arthur was a Roman, but guinevere is a kick ass archer, soooo acceptable...

Deadpool 2: THAT WAS FUCKIN HILARIOUS I LOVE DEADPOOL SO MUCH! god I love this movie, I would die for dominoe.

The Nutcracker, four realms: such a cute af movie omggggggggggggg. I loved Captain Phillip the nutcracker soldier and the gold highlight they put on his lips 💓

Venom: listen. I did no t see this film for quality. I saw it for the symbi ote ok. Ok. I lov it. But blease for the love of god.... Y.... Did...... The......... Symbiote........ Take the shape of a sexy comic book lady..... When........ The same sexyness could have been achieved by letting the symbiote be big beefy orc like lady....

Love, Simon: I'm not one for these films... I dont like these films... They are teary eyed wholesome cake frosting that make my cold gay heart sick... That being said... I relate, I relate so much... Also... If I was in simons shoes and the blackmailing weasle Martin outed me? They would still be scraping him off the pavement... That is all.

Ready player one: it wasn’t as bad as some of the things i heard about it on tumblr, but its not one I will watch again.

Aquaman: "show off, heh, I could've just pee'd on it" is the exact quality line I want out of my films. Also that was soooooooo awesome! I loved it! More Aquaman!

Solo, a star wars story: Not bad, but not great, it kept on plot really well, not memorable but I won’t knock it. I still say the actor playing Han Solo looks photoshopped and not real.

Ghost stories (2018): awful... It was slow and boring, and I didnt like it... I rented it through itunes and it glitched part of the way through and I stopped being able to see the picture. Even after I got it working again I still didnt like it... Though I did like the message of "dont be a bystander", but the whole this was boriiiiiinnnnnnnggggggggggg.

Wreck it Ralph: okay, technically I caught the beginning like 4 or 5 years ago, but I finally actually watched it and it wasnt bad. Will go see the sequel.

Ralph breaks the internet: WAYYYYYY better than the emoji movie, also, I really loved the princesses scene, the bright colors, and following Venelope through the internet... Also.... Ralph........ WTF..................... Also............................. that Stan Lee cameo.................................... Heartbreaking............

Goosebumps 2: Mr. Chu and his Halloween obsession is me... Stones appearence had me dying omg... Also where tf r ppl getting these awesome super cool Halloween stuffs!

Hidden figures: IM NOT CRYING UR CRYING! omg such a great movie i fucking loved it. Couldnt understand a WORD of math that went on, but damn girls, calculate that shit.

The meg: listen... Listen... The trailer looked stupid... And ridiculous... I just... Wanted to know how bad... And it was bad... But it was incredibally enjoyable omg... I loved it... In all seriousness, it was actually a pretty beautiful movie when it came to marine life and the wonder behind it, and it was anti shark culling for fins, and it was very clearly "not all sharks are bad, they do as they do, but megalodon is about to fuck our shit up."... It was also fucking hilarious... My favorite character was meiying, the little 8 year old in the movie... The love plot wasnt forced and they way they did it the two leads were not having it and had actual chemistry... Just... Also the dog... The dog does not die... Pippin lives... The wedding is not ruined... Also the shark ate a billionaire soooooooo... We good meg... We good...

Pacific Rim: yes I know, I took a long ass time to watch this movie... But Listen... Explody robots and monsters... Hannibal chau... Look... I just... Sometimes take a long time to watch movies... You wanna know how long it took me to watch Merlin BBC? I watched every episode as it came out and then put off the last episode for 5 years... Listen...

Pacific rim uprising: ok I watched the first one so I could watch the one with my boi John Boyega in it.

Wrath of the Titans: wtf kind of movie... Like really what the f... Since when is zues ever responsible and wise.

Mission impossible, fallout: I liked it. It's an action movie. Saw it for my birthday, kinda interested in the other mission impossible movies now. I appreciate the advance tech and the obviously stupid impossible shit.

Oceans 8: Listen, i have never been interested in the Oceans franchise, i dont want to see crusty men steal things, but lads, im gay. Extremely gay, just, shamelessly gay.

The Breadwinner: holy shit that was a good movie.

Secret of the Kells: eh, it was a good movie. Not my favorite, but it was good. I mostly just like the animation.

Mune: Guardian of the Moon: dat was a cute movie, and also i loved Munes Design, he is a little fawn

Operation Finale: Wow, that was an amazing film, absolutely superb. Not at all like the trailers. Seriously, what is it and trailers where everything has to either be an high stakes action movie or a romantic comedy? but this film, spectacular.

The House With A Clock In Its Walls: A Neat little movie. Corny, but i liked it. like, its a kids movie in the same way A Wrinkle In Time is, but this one was little less disney-fied in the way that they needed to have this overarching lesson of empowerment, and more “this is a kids movie to enjoy, like Halloweentown”

Bad times at the El Royale: neat movie, somewhat engaging, kept losing focus at the slow parts... Liked the Chapter title cards... Can't remember who that "important person" was supposed to be.... I think I may have missed it...

Outlaw king: I liked it! Way better than Braveheart! Also.... Cpine was not that naked.... Butt....

Gnome alone: weird, didn't like it, like a bad combo of Mean Girls and Coraline?

Journey to the center of the earth: I said old movies were gonna be on this list now didnt I? Also this movie was awesome and I wish the book was real too.

Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy: Nice!!! I had been meaning to read the book before I watched the movie, but I've packed my book away soooo, MOVIE. Also out of all thw sci fi movies that have destroyed planets, this is by far the only good one.

Vvitch: it was okay... By the middle I was kinda wishing it would go faster. But it was okay.

Ex machina: I'm not done with the movie yet but it's so fucking creepy holy shit... Also "its kinda non-autistic" in relation to "aware of her own mind and mine"???? Wtffffffff.uggggghhhhhhhhhh ewwwweeweeewewweeeewwwwwww the talk about giving the robot a sexuality is so grooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss he gave her a working vag and hearing him talk about fucking the robot was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Mmmmmmmm no, did not like.

To all the boys ive loved before: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Also that sibling relationship was..... Relatable.

Extraordinary Tales: tales based on Edgar Allen Poe and holy sweet Jesus I loved it, it has multiple different art styles per story and I loved them soooooo much!

The Golden Compass: okay but how could you end on that cliffhanger and not at least put out another movie????

Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil: based on Basque folklore which I know nothing of, but it looked neat. It's also originally in basque but netflix has the English dub over. AND HOLY SWEET JESUS I KNOW THIS MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY BUT THE VOICE OVERS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Dragon heart: I didnt like it, there were better movies I could have seen, I'm not gonna reach for this one again...

The Black Klansman: Damn, I might very well be speechless. That was a Fantastic Movie, came at you like a bag of Bricks, and the ending when it went straight from a cross burning to the 2017 neo nazi rallies, to trumps “good people on both sides” speech, to everything that happened in 2017. The movie did NOT fuck around with anything. God Bless.

Robin Hood, 2018: Antifa film of the YEAR! Yeah Robin, Be a Class Traitor to the ruling class, Spread Wealth, Down with the 1%!

The Princess of Thieves: OMG Kiera Knightly as the daughter of robin and also a kick ass archer that causes trouble!!!! Loved it!

First Man: dude that movie was incredible, it read like you were seeing snapshots of his life, not completely invested, but as though you were a spirit looking at memories. I kinda liked it. I loved the silent scenes that filled the viewer with anxiety, like a realization of the gravity of what was happening. Omg. Good film A+

Bohemian Rhapsody: OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH OMGOMGOMGOMG MY QUEER HEART IS RESTORED AND THEY SAID BISEXUAL!!!!!

What we do in the Shadows: that was an enjoyable movie. I didn't quite like the reality show format but it was funny!

Overlord: That was a great movie! it had decently fast pacing, which is good that it was only an hour and forty-eight minutes long... They Plot-Ex-Machina’d alot of the movie, like the wounded soldier feeling fine for the main firefight, then remembering he was supposed to be wounded all of a sudden. I watched it with a friend who saw one character, turned to me and said “He’s cute, i hope he doesnt die” one (1) second before a landmine went off. Also, Ghouls created by science rather by supernatural means.

For the Love of Spock: -cries like a big baby-

Next Gen: screams of anti-tech ideals... Also.... Damn...... They are channeling the "addiction to iPhones" angle man, like, villianous angle...

Small Foot: Not bad, At least it was a Short movie, or at least it didnt feel like it was dragging on. The Songs were great though, I actually liked them and at least they were written for the movie and not like, a song that already existed...

The Spy who Dumped Me: I rented it through iTunes and it gave some Ukrainian nuts swangin in my face...

The Nun: it was okay, but let maurice theirult be a lesson; u see some creepy haunted shit, you grab a cross and you walk away. You dont go back to play hero, cuz then you get possessed.

Kin: there is a line in the movie that says "you got a decade of bad decisions under your belt" and I feel like that sums of this movies plot points...

Crazy Rich Asians: that was so gooooood! I don't normally go for romcoms, but ppl had been praising the film, and I actually liked it. I'm glad I saw the majong scene explain before I actually watched the scene, because it felt a shit ton more powerful.

Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse: AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! the animation was TOP NOTCH, like, omg!

A simple favor: I didnt like it... It tried to be both a thriller and what seemed like a parody of a thriller.

Predator, 2018: I kinda liked it, it was a mindless action movie, and the ending left it open for a badass sequal. I havent seen the other predator movies so I have no idea if this is in faith for the series, but im guessing yes.

The Martian: It was cool and chill, I liked it, also Mark Watney cussing out a government agency via a hundred thousand dollar communications outlet is.... Mood.

47 meters down: 2hrs of one woman having an absolute panic attack and being right to worry about sketchy diving boats.

2036 Origin Unknown: kinda what I feel like 2001 a space Oddessey wouldve been like if I had actually watched that movie... Oh shit the Borg!

2001 A Space Oddessey: Have I ever told y'all that I dont like Kubrick or his movies? His movies are the epitome of that pretentious art school boi style that just does too much and tries to pretend it's more than it is and sweet merciful god why is this one 2 and a half hours long! I'm 40 minutes in and I have a head ache from the over ise of classical music and boring slow pace of the movie. 2001 a space Oddessey is 2 and a half hours long and only has 1 hr of actual relevant film... The other 1 1/2 is just unending, weirdly colored space shots, two color inversion shots of planets and eyes, theremin and flute noises, and classical music set to nothingness

RAMPAGE: a 30ft alligator showed up about an hour and 10minutes into the movie and the first reaction was "well that sucks" and it killed me on sight. The movie is awesome! In am so glad I picked this as my last movie of 2018.

[fvstboi]

[ jesus castro, he/him, 29 ] pietro maximoff has been spotted in gotham city! the hero is publicly known as quicksilver, and have often been described as determined, but also arrogant. they have also been affiliated with the avengers, and said to mainly operate in new york city. will they help find answers, or add to the chaos? [ han, she/her, 23, mst ]

triggers: childhood trauma , kidnapping , experimentation , HYDRA mentions , minor violence , auschwitz mentioned , mental illness , death. 

hey fam !! here’s my fast boi , pietro maximoff. i love him bunches. 

so first things first: he is comics based with mcu tie-ins. and comics before marvel ruined his backstory by making him not actually erik and magda’s son and not a mutant. can u tell i love my son and hate what marvel has done to him ? keep on reading to find out. 

pietro was born in the wundagore mountains to magda eisenhardt , a romani woman that magneto met and fell in love with. ( she survived auschwitz because of him i stan ). although pietro and wanda didn’t know it at the time and wouldn’t for many years , erik lehnsherr / magneto / max eisenhardt was their father. magda didn’t stay around for very long , though. not long after , magda fled into the woods with the fear that her husband would find her. pietro and his twin sister would soon enough be given to the maximoff’s , a romani couple who lived down the mountain and had always wanted children. ( note: while pietro was both raised romani and is romani in heritage , a lot of it was lost to him after his adopted parents died which was when he was quite young. he does want to make sure his daughter knows about it and where she comes from but he’s not an expert since everyone from the romani side of his family is dead. )

he was literally that obnoxious older brother but he’s also hella protective and loyal ? he’s a bit of an ass . scratch that , he is 100% an asshole :’)

pietro and his twin , wanda , were raised in transia / sokovia by the maximoff’s , who were an amazing couple and even better parents. eventually , their “ adoptive “ father , django , began to steal food so that he could feed his family. enraged villagers attacked the ( romani ) camp they were living in. pietro was able to get him and wanda out , thankfully , but the trauma from that event was so severe that they wouldn’t be able to recall anything from their childhood for years and not even small details. they had nothing. they’d then travel across europe , fending for themselves and only relying on each other. the streets were really hard. they were hungry and tired on most days and pietro would steal food and warm clothes with his powers but wanda would always say he would get caught one day. ( he didn’t ).

one day , wanda accidentally caused a house to burst into flame through her hex powers , which she could not yet control. superstitious townspeople began chasing her. pietro would try his best to protect and defend her but they were outnumbered and overpowered. thankfully , magneto ( dad !!! ) came to their rescue. they would then join the brotherhood of evil mutants , feeling like they had to serve him since he saved them from what would have been horrible mob violence.

when magneto was defeated in a battle against some powerful guy who took him away from earth , pietro and wanda took it as their chance to leave and went back to transia / sokovia / whatever it’s being called now.

( mcu tie ins ) pietro and wanda were kidnapped by HYDRA ( aka not willingly joining HYDRA ) and experimented on with one of the infinity stones , which only augmented their powers. the second HYDRA fell , they left it and joined ultron ( pietro blaming tony stark for the reason why sokovia / transia was in such turmoil due to seeing stark industries on a shell that hit their home that trapped pietro and wanda for nearly two days ). at some point the twins allied themselves with the avengers and also joined them and fought against ultron , who they had previously sided with. 

pietro was injured in the battle against ultron and almost died and so he stayed with the inhumans for awhile. he formed a relationship with crystalia amaquelin , princess of the inhumans. the whole thing was somewhat forbidden since he’s not an inhuman but they soon enough got married. it was p rushed, which is super on brand for pietro. they eventually had their daughter , luna and ? not only did he find out that magneto is his dad during this time but pietro’s a dick and almost killed her by putting her in the terrigensis ( this was much later on , not right after she was born omg ) but hey , she got powers so ! he’s never been the best dad , honestly ? he’s run away from a lot of responsibility , even stuff that wasn’t luna related lol. but he’s trying ? ( with pietro’s age , luna is about ? 5-6 years old. his lil princess. )

the relationship that pietro had with crystal would become rocky due to pietro’s mind being elsewhere and not paying all that much attention to his wife. crystal would then cheat on pietro ,,,, ( note: crystal left some other guy for pietro sksksk ) pietro wouldn’t forgive her and “ vowed vengeance on her and all those he perceived as having wronged him “ but !! crystal’s cousin , maximus , was manipulating his mind and augmenting pietro’s anger towards crystal which was prob meant more for the avengers. he did a lot of dumb shit during this time basically. moreso than usual. but he wasn’t in control of himself or what he was doing so really ? it wasn’t his fault. 

pietro and crystal had a messy relationship after that. they’d reconcile , get back together , breakup , fight , get back together , fight together , etc. it was a messy relationship for awhile. 

pietro lost his powers for a bit and ,,, it was hard fam he was actually depowered due to m day but i’m just saying he lost his powers w/o m day since it’s a big part of him

honestly !! pietro was in a pretty horrible state at this time. he was taken to attila which is basically inhumans hq , where his medical injuries were taken care of. pietro couldn’t stand being human so much that he underwent terrigensis even though king black bolt said no since it can kill u ! wtf u doing pietro !! he then started to plan a way to steal and bring the terrigensis crystals to earth. pietro ,,, no. angel boi. slow down u gonna kill everyone. 

then he made his daughter undergo terrigen ,,,, which could’ve killed her since nobody knew if her inhumans genes would just cancel out her mutant ones.

lots of shit happened ,,,, its just 2 much 

pietro was then put in jail and while there he had a serious of hallucinations. o boi

but ig it was also the end of his episode , u could call it ?? his powers were restored and he rediscovered his desire to be a hero !!

pietro recovered the remaining terrigenesis crystals returning them to the inhumans and clearing his name of criminal charges through a lie that a skrull committed all of his felonies. 

he joined all new x-factor which was his half-sister’s x-men team !

he actually just claimed to have a falling out with the avengers ,,, which wasn’t rly tru ,,, lorna’s ex bf , alex summers , just wanted pietro to spy on her sksksk 

but like ? pietro in x-factor with lorna was one of the best things marvel could’ve done. just siblings working together and on a team together who usually never interact. goals. ( might lowkey have a thing for a certain cajun mutant ) 

he taught at avengers academy for a hot second !

he’s paid a ton of money for luna to go to a fancy school in england which she eventually just ,,, ran away from lmfao

he’s a hero. but he also doesn’t pay much attention to authority and if he thinks someone is wrong and he’s right then he’ll follow his own path and ignore everyone else. he’s tried to repower mutants with the inhuman crystals and continued to do so after mutants got sick and some even died. while that’s not really canon it does give a good insight to who pietro is. he’s not bad and most of his bad ideas do have good intentions. 

he’s been off and on with the avengers for awhile and never stays with them for extended periods of time but they all mean a great deal to him. he loves many of the founding / returning members and cares more for them than he’d ever care to admit. 

pietro once ran 300+ miles so he could punch erik in the face lol [ x ]

pietro is in gotham to see what’s going on ? he also has luna while crystal is away doing stuff. so single dad pietro ! he’s never been alone with luna for more than a few days before ! it’ll be fun ! 

tldr; pietro is messy, an asshole and a drama queen but he’s trying HIS BEST.

stats - tba / pinterest / wiki page.

[hitchell-mope]

Ok I’ve been working on something for years that I hope to make it into a tv show one day but probably can’t because once upon a time beat me to it

So imagine

Michael darling single handedly stopped a war that was never meant to end at the cost of his life and to correct “something” the universe sees fit to tear open a hole in the fabric of reality which all cartoons bleed through. Disney Pixar Simpson’s marvel dc blue sky laika everything you can think of are now inhabiting the real world the only humans left are Wendy darling and her close family and friends

Disney’s taken over Great Britain and Ireland. Mickey and Minnie are the king and queen until they see fit to retire

Simpson’s are now in Hollywood Bart is filthy stinking rich and the Whitehouse is his mansion

So on and so forth

Main characters

Jane Ophelia Emerson: now known as Jaime aster blonde hair blue eyes around 5 foot 8 inches. Has magic like the whole of her mothers side of the family. Unlocks it when she meets Peter Pan for the first time. Like her mother and grandmother before her she fell for him hard. So imagine the bitterness when she discovers she wasn’t the first to fall for him and she won’t be the last seeing as he’s fated to be her son in law. She stops her and her friends physical aging process when she’s 16 because she’s terrified of growing up and having to leave everything behind. Gets married to three guys. James pleiades Hawkins from treasure planet. An evil bisexualversion of superman she was forced to create out of two variations of kryptonite (black and pink). William smees illegitimate son that he got from a hooker on the neverland pier. Padraic hutchins. And together they’ve adopted three kids not much younger then them. Youngest to oldest. Timothy Tiberius Turner. Horrid Henry. Alice Liddell. Preferred drink is olive oil until she decides to stop aging then she goes all out on the booze. She really does not like using mjolnir but that’s exactly why she can use it. She killed her own cousin after Peter Pan was taken advantage of. Speaks how she was raised. Posh. But the angrier she gets the more common she sounds.

James pleiades Hawkins: nicknamed Plei shoulder length brown hair turquoise eyes five foot nine. Space cadet. Made a little mistake in that he wished he had magic when holding an empty lamp. This means he’s now a genie but he can appear normal except when angered and he turns an olive green. His lamp stays hidden in Jaime’s blood stream. Very protective of his kids. From montressor but speaks with a middling California accent

Kal: under duress Jaime creates him by combining black and pink kryptonite (according to what I’ve read black turns him evil and somehow pink turns him gay I don’t know why so please don’t ask) so imagine a five foot eleven inch evil bisexual superman built like a tank flirting with anyone he sees. There are limits. He cannot go after anyone younger then Jaime or older then Wendy. Or anyone she is directly related to. Has a side thing going with she hulk (cause of that man of steel woman of Kleenex problem). Looks so much like Clark Kent (blue eyes jet black hair) that once the bitterness has subsided they eventually declare themselves twins. Actually talks with a Kansas accent (it’s a pet peeve of mine) hair goes to his shoulder blades

Padraic Hutchins: five foot ten. Mixed race but unless he showed you a picture of his father (mr smee who is like really white) you wouldn’t be able to tell. Dark black skin (think terry crews) dark blonde waist length hair. Emerald green eyes. Met Jaime when he was working as cabin boy (and hooks personal stool master) on the Jolly Roger. Jaime offered him a deal. Sword fight just him and her. She wins he becomes her butler and all that entails. He wins she becomes his butler and all that entails. It comes to a stalemate. He decides to go with her though. (If you had to wipe hooks ass wouldn’t you leave given a chance) invents a new method of killing when getting revenge on a racist homophobic cop in Springfield. He may look like terry crews but speaks like Katie McGrath (his accent is Dublin posh)

Merida: jaimes best friend. Scottish. Really really curly bright orange hair halfway down her back. Grey blue eyes. 5”8. Harsh rivalry with Clarabelle cow Clarabelle keeps calling her fat by accident. She is not fat. The slightly barrel like figure she has is pure muscle. Moved in with Jaime after an absolutely blow out fight with her mother and hasn’t looked back since. Met Parker through tragedy. The were on an excursion with the parr children and dash died in front of her. Completely destroyed her for months. Tried to change everything about herself to feel better. None of it worked. Cut and straightened her hair. Tried to lose weight (just became addicted to caffeine). She even gave up archery (which if you know her is a serious cause for concern). And through it all Parker was there

Peter Benjamin Parker: the group calls him Parker because there are one too many Peters in the world and they needed to differentiate. Brown hair that grows out to his chin. Brown eyes. 5”9. Splits himself so he can have a somewhat normal life. There is now three of him. The original with Merida. Petey living with aunt may. Spider-Man. Parker actually grows to like the venom suit and through magic is actually able to control it. Realised he was bi when he kissed Padraic to cheer him up after Kal was being a jackass. Then harry arrived. Still has his native New York accent but it interchanges with a British accent after he’s lived in Kensington for some time.

Melody: Danish princess. Daughter of Ariel and Eric. Granddaughter of king triton. Black hair blue eyes. 5”8. Has a thing for blonde men. Was attracted to Cody before he told her he was asexual then she layed off him. Eventually gets with zephyr. Non practicing catholic except in one respect. Jaime gave her her own trident. Loves to swim. She’ll shrink herself down and use a wine glass if she has to. Always wears her hair in a ponytail

Zephyr: French Romani. Blonde shoulder length hair in a pageboy style cut. Green blue eyes. 5”9. Always wears the outfit he had on in his film only now it’s in an older more mature style. Smitten with melody when they met but she had a thing for Cody so he couldn’t say anything. He just got steadily more drunk. Scarily flexible. Likes to hang from chandeliers with his toes. Bit like a blonde Dick Grayson. Non practicing catholic in the same way melody is.

Cody Anderson: Swedish but has spent a lot of time in Australia. 5”11. Blonde hair long enough to braid. Keeps it in a man bun 90% of the time. Asexual. Much rather run climb or play video games then date or sleep with someone. Poor thing has been conscripted as Kals wingman. He absolutely hates it. He just tells the intended targets the truth and if Kal can’t seal the deal on his own merits it’s not Cody’s problem. Apparently can survive on one hour sleep.

Alice Liddell: one of Jaime Plei Kal and Padraics adoptive children. 12 years old. 5”5. Reality warper. Mostly this means she can make a portal to wonderland through any surface. But then she gets magic and all bets are off. Adopted because we birth parents were about to have her committed to an asylum because she kept insisting wonderland is real (it is of course but they have literal Victorian sensibilities and to them Alice has cracked) favourite Dad is Plei. Blonde hair half way down her back. Blue eyes. Actually does look like Jaime a little bit except Jaime’s hair is more of a tawny gold colour and Alice’s is more yellow. Like Jaime defies the dumb blonde stereotype. Uses her powers in very creative ways. Eventually ditches the pinafore

“Horrid” henry: except not really. His biological parents are just jackasses who scapegoat him so the worm is the professed golden child. Reddish brown hair and definitely fulfils the firey redhead stereotype. But manages to use it in helpful ways after Henry’s his own magic. Loves his chemistry set. Many a stink bomb was made from it. 5”4. 11 years old. Green eyes. Favourite Dad is Kal. Again like Zephyr, he always wears the same outfit. Adopted because Jaime could see that he was miserable at his own house and was always happiest when she was babysitting him.

Timothy Tiberius Turner: brown hair blue eyes pink hat. Still has his fairy godparents because Jorgen Von strangle is terrified of Jaime (the girl unionised death). Not stupid per-say but he doesn’t think things through. Favourite Dad is Padraic. Adopted after Jaime went to talk to his fairies and saw his babysitter strapping him to a torture wheel. Definitely the baby of the group being 10 years old

Harry Osborn: 5”9. Black hair blue eyes. Bi. Enters a relationship with Parker and Merida. Hung up on Parker for longer then he’d care to admit. But always believed (as Parker did) that he was straight. Strikes up an odd friendship with Jaime over the “Peters who have ruined their lives” (Parker and Pan) the only difference Osborn is now with his Peter and Jaime doesn’t love her one anymore. He revels in the fact Parker feels the need to protect him and their respective positions in the relationship have changed. Was dying before he used magic to cure the unknown disease that would ravage his body. Couldn’t use his fortune to find a cure because his fathers will stipulates that he’d be disinherited if he tried to cure himself. That and he wanted to defend himself properly should the need arise

Ashton Darling: Jaime’s cousin born in the same hospital month day and the exact same time. Shoulder length tawny gold hair blue eyes same height as Jaime. It’s a running gag that he and Jaime look so much alike they could easily be the same person cloned and don’t think that before puberty when her hair was shorter they didn’t pull pull a twin switch. They even have the same taste in men. Fictional with bright eyes. Expected a bigger reaction from Jaime when he came out to her. She knew and they carried on as normal. Eventually starts dating Jack Frost from rise of the guardians. His parents are fans of that 70’s show. His younger brother is called Topher

Jack Frost: pure white hair blue eyes. 5”9. Always in the same outfit. Guardian of fun. Has a sibling like rivalry with Elsa. She thinks he’s annoying and he thinks she’s boring despite them having the same powers. In Jack Elsa sees what she could have had. Yes Jack was lonely but he made the best of it for centuries and he had people to talk to (North toothania bunnymund and Sandy) whereas Elsa retreated into herself scared of going near others. Though they come to an understanding and when Jaime gives the shovel talk to Jack Elsa gives the shovel talk to Ashton. Ashton and Jack met in similar circumstances to Merida and Parker except the Ashton and Jack’s weren’t nearly as tragic as Merida and Parker

Taran: 13 years old. 5”6. Red hair green eyes. Dalbens ward but somehow ends up staying at Jaime’s (admittedly insanely cavernous) flat more then necessary and everyone knows why except him. Alice has taken a shine to him. He doesn’t quite know why. Gurgis still attached to his hip. He and Eilonwy drifted apart but they are still friends. Has next to no idea what’s going on more than half the time

Felicia Hardy: old friend of Harry and Parker. The friend that would not leave. Her father died and she still is not over it. Cinnamon colour hair hazel eyes. 5”8. Hapless. That is until the symbiote infects her and almost starts a war with the galactic federation.

Johnny Storm: like Parker the group just call him storm. 5”9. Mid length spiky blonde hair. Blue eyes. The human torch. Enters the group by happenstance. Works at Oscorp on an intern. When Parker took the fall for what Felicia was blamed for harry had a bit of a panic attack demanding that he and Parker weren’t separated again so to assuage him Parker takes him on a holiday in a private suite in the death hotel. But then Storm arrives with this contract he needs harry to sign and it escalates from there so now Merida has three boyfriends who are also dating each other one of which is in intergalactic jail.

There are a multitude of alternate realities that are accessed through a full length mirror in Jaime’s flat. Some have diffoerent circumstances or flipped morality/genders or different outcomes. For example

Different circumstances: Clark crashed into the Wayne’s greenhouses and the shock set off Martha’s labour. Clark married a one Diana prince and had two children. Oliver Kingston Wayne and Barry Allen Wayne. Bruce is the drink uncle who accidentally joined a big brother program and Clark is making damned sure Bruce is honouringthe commitment. Oliver dances at a club to be self sufficient. Barry meanwhile is obsessed with chemistry. Clark stayed home with a sick Alfred that fateful night and has never forgiven himself. So he became superman to make sure something like that never happens to anyone else. Bruce however became a preteen alcoholic. Chardonnay is his drink of choice. Their pool cleaner a mr Arthur curry and their chauffeur is a mr Hal Jordan

Different outcome: Professor farnsworth took over New New York with an army of bending units aided by his insane son Phillip. Leela is Phillips personal slave. An impoverished Amy Wong is his public slave (Leela is a sewer mutant). Carol Walt Larry and Igner are incarcerated for trying to throw a coup

Flipped morality: Snow White, jealous of her fathers affection for his new wife, killed her father and blamed grimhilde for it. She learned dark magic and killed the queen in a mirror storm then took over the kingdom with only seven diamond armoured dwarfs. All when she was fourteen.

Flipped gender: Cendrillon used as servant in his own home until he’s able to go to the ball aided by his fairy godfather. The princess saved him with a glass slipper

You get the idea

The characters relation ships with their parents:

Jaime and Wendy had a major falling out because Wendy kept trying to put her solutions in alignment with Jaime’s problems. Eventually Jaime moved next door into a flat in Mickey and Minnie’s castle. And now Jaime’s the queen. Wendy is 5”10 tawny gold hair almost always in a bun. Blue eyes and always dressed in blue. Mid to late forties. Edward Emerson. Think Henry cavil in prime superman mode greying at the temples in either army fatigues or black denim. One year older than Wendy. Besides George he is the only mortal in the family and being mortal he can use a magic wand (no one quite knows why only mortals can use wands)

Plei’s mother Sarah looks the same as in the film. Now you need to go through trauma for your magic to settle. And Plei’s trauma is seeing his father Leland a gain in god know how long. It does not go well

Kal have a rivalry with Clark because Kal sees Clark as a wimp who is wasting his powers on helping people and Clark thinks Kal is a no good miscreant. Their parents though treat Kal the same way they treat Clark. Doesn’t matter if he’s a close W he’s their son. In return Kal values them and does not hate them like he hates Kal (high praise in deed)

Smee just wants Padraic to be happy and if that means Padraic being in England in an entirely different dimension then so be it.

Elinor got impatient with Merida taking so long to choose a suitor and then Merida decided to try and find a boyfriend from non options (read as she doesn’t love the clans sons). So they had a hard he blow out fight which led to Merida moving in with Jaime and she’s barely looked back since

May doesn’t know Parker is no longer st school and he is not planning on telling her. And besides she’s got Benji

Ariel and Eric know everything and as long as melody isn’t hurt they’re fine with it

Phoebus and Esmeralda are just like Ariel and Eric

Cody’s mother isn’t in the picture anymore

Alice’s parents tried to have her committed so their relationship is next to nonexistent

Henry’s is his parents scapegoat so his brother retains a veneer of so called “perfection”

Timmy’s parents are negligent and let him be babysat by a psychopath who repeatedly tries to kill him. His fairy god parents are crazy but at least they care

Norman put a stipulation in his will that if harry seeks a cure then he will be disinherited. So try to gage their relationship from that

John darling came out as bi and his wife couldn’t handle it so she divorced him and took Ashton and Topher to New York. John remarries Casey mulligan. Casey is actually Jamie’s ex husband (don’t get worried it was some stupid new law that all marriages in England are legal. Including playground marriages. Jaime and Casey’s happenedwhen she was five and he was nine). So they got a quickie divorce. And as it turns out Casey has a son from his ex girlfriend. Casey junior (get it?). So now John is a 42 year old divorcee remarried to a twenty year old with a 10 month old step son and two teenage children. Annalise got remarried to Ashton’s high school crush, his Australian swim coach

Jack’s family died a couple centuries ago so what accounts for his family are the guardians a boy who remembers him less and less every year. Elsa who sees him as who she could have been and Anna who just wants everybody to get along. Then there’s kristoff who just wants peace

Taran still goes to see Dalben henwen fflewder and eilonwy when he can

Felicia’s last words to her father were “piss off” so she desperate to make amends with his ghost

Well you know about the fantastic four.

Jaime has become a children’s advocate. Simple stuff like babysitting and making sure the recess gang isn’t split up. But she isn’t up to date on slang so when a mourning 13 year old Angelica pickles drunk dials her, Jaime has no idea what’s the girls saying. And she takes it upon herself to punish the “evil children” ie DW Reed, 3 year old Angelica Pickles, manny heffley, Francine nebulon the children the make their older siblings lives a living hell.

Simpson’s:

Jaime aged up the child population of Springfield by ten years. Barts twenty Lisa’s eighteen Maggies twelve and so on. She also given them special powers. Bart has super speed Lisa HAD telekinesis (she abused it so she losed it. Painful rhyme I know) Maggie has electrokinesis milhouse can ghost through objects Nelson can put national monuments on his pinky nail. Ralph can bend reality to his will. Sherri can teleport Terri can fly. That sort of thing. Though some have non active powers. Moe can not die no matter how hard he tries. Homer and barney have regenerative livers (so they can be sozzled all the time) Bart has inherited Montys fortune and company

[allaboardtheloonyexpress]

My Thoughts on the Season 7 Spoilers By awayforthelads

I will be dissecting the spoilers from Season 7 by awayforthelads, with some gripes and other thoughts. (Yes I believe it. It sounds like classic D&D.) Spoilers will be in bold, my commentary unbolded.

1. Bran crosses the Wall, meets with Edd. Sam and Bran figure out Jon's heritage. He is apparently a legitimised Targaryen named "Aegon".- This makes it seem that to D&D, the only purpose of the Bran and Sam plots are to discover that Jon is secretly the rightful king. It is essentially praise for our Lord and Savior Jon Snow! They have their own stories, their own discoveries to make! Not everything rotates around Jon Snow! And I just hate general hymns to how awesome Gary Stus are in general.

2. "Sansa wants to give the lands of those who betrayed Jon to those who supported him, but Jon (in first episode) refused to hold the children of the Karstark and Umber families responsible for the actions of their fathers. This doesn't please Lyanna Mormont (or Sansa) but Jon basically just tells her to deal with it - he doesn't plan to rule the North the way it always has been."- First of all, I find it annoying that Jon Snow is being inconsistent with violence. After his resurrection, he killed the leaders of the mutiny against him. Next of all, Sansa is right here. If Jon is going to be King in the North, he needs to make an example of those who betrayed him. The Umbers in particular should have tried to raise the North for Rickon. The Karstarks can be forgiven, but not the Umbers. Considering that ruling by love didn’t do jack for House Stark (unlike in the books), it seems like the Lannister method of ruling by fear should be at least tried.

3. "At the end of Episode One, Dany and her fleet land at Dragonstone. Nobody says anything. She walks up the steps to the keep, and we follow her through the building until she reaches Stannis' old War Room. She looks out the window at the land ahead that used to belong to her family. She picks up one of the chess-like pieces on the table and looks at Tyrion, who has followed her up. She says one line: "Shall we begin?" End of Episode"- I am probably the only person on Tumblr who wanted Daenerys to stop off in Volantis before going to Westeros, but I think her time in Essos is essential for her journey from idealistic hero to destructive conqueror. What’s more, her relationship with the Red Priests is a really important character thread that needs to be addressed.

4. Dany and Jon meet. Dany demands he bend the knee, which he refuses. Evidently, he discusses the WWs, but she doesn't believe him. Tyrion insists that Jon isn't crazy. Dany respects Jon immediately, Jon to Dany maybe not as much?- I think Dany is being made more foreboding this season, less of a hero. But again, important parts of her journey are being cut out. Her time in Essos (and her alliance with Victarion Greyjoy) are important parts of that. She’s not just evil because.

5.  Gendry's in Kings Landing making weapons, and he is found by Davos.- I personally like that Arya and Gendry are probably going to get together. But I don’t like how they’re presenting him. For one, Gendry is in King’s Landing? Where there is a bounty on his head? Really? I know I am going on a tangent here, but I think he should have shown up in Season 6, specifically when Arya was stabbed almost to death by the Waif. Have him find her and nurse her back to health. The explanation will be he was picked up by a Braavosi ship, and he has lived in Braavos as a blacksmith ever since. That would be fun for the Gendrya shippers like myself. (Although I don’t think it’s happening in the books.)

6. Sansa sentences Littlefinger to death, which Arya carries out. Arya uses Walder Frey's face to hold a banquet and poison his sons. Makes sure the women are dismissed, first. Will happen in the first couple episodes.- My problem here is D&D seem to have a love of violent actions by their female characters. (calling it “feminism”) Examples include Dany burning the Khals, Arya murdering Walder Frey, Sansa feeding Ramsay to his dogs...

However, they make sure that these actions have no consequences or real punch. (i.e.: sending away the Frey women. There is also an assumption here that all Frey women took no part in the Red Wedding and all Frey men planned it. Olyvar, Alesander, Perwyn. Who are they?) Thus, these scenes feel like fan-service, violence for the sake of butts in the seats. They have no message, unlike Martin. We also never question the morality of the cast.

7. The Wall falls at the end of the episode. The Night King attacks the Wall with the reanimated Viserion. He now breathes blue flame.- This is legitimately cool. But D&D have a history of making cool scenes that don’t have good context or character development. Like Michael Bay.

8. Euron kills 2 of the Sand Snakes, imprisons Ellaria and makes her watch as Tyene dies a slow death from poison. Euron's fleet destroys Yara's and he takes her prisoner. Theon abandons her, jumps overboard and is rescued by some Iron Born. Jamie travels to Highgarden and Olenna drinks poison. The claim is this happens when the Lannister armies sack High Garden. She admits to having killed Joffrey, and Jamie allows her to drink the poison. Jamie returns to King's Landing in time for the dragonpit meeting.- This all seems to be shooing off the Dornish and the Tyrells. This smacks of lazy writing trying to get rid of other plot points, rather than wrapping them up in a tapestry as Martin does.

9.  Littlefinger tries to play Arya and Sansa against each other, using the letter Sansa wrote to Robb (at the behest of Cersei and Littlefinger) to swear fealty to Joffrey. Sansa figures out she's being played with Bran's help.- Because God forbid Sansa achieve anything on her own. God forbid she be her own character and a vital part of the team, rather than a pretty field for Jon to plow at the end of this.

10.  There will be a flashback scene to Rhaegar and Lyanna's wedding. Sam and Bran figure out Jon's heritage. He is apparently a legitimised Targaryen named "Aegon".- Of course Jon Snow is perfect in every way. He’s not even a bastard! Never mind that this ignores the running theme that feudal social structures (including hating bastards) are stupid and repressive. This is honestly as offensive as the old trope:

Hero: Oh, I can’t marry my love because I’m black/Jewish/Romani!

Other Person: But you were white the whole time!

Hero: Oh. Okay then.

I would call this show “bad fan fiction.” But fan fiction is honest about what it is. Even with bad fan fiction, they tell you this is not canon, and half the fun is seeing what the author thinks would be affected by the changes they impose, or how they think certain characters would go together. Fan fiction is by nature, an author expressing him/herself creatively.

This show lies by presenting itself as an “adaptation” of A Song of Ice and Fire. The books are a series with strong themes of moral nuance, our sick obsession with militarism and violence, and the undervaluing of femininity. The show might as well be directed by Michael Bay, because as of Season 5, the villains are cartoons, violence is not only common, but fun, and every woman either has to flash her tits every five minutes or act like a man! And worst of all, it is expressed in such a cliche fashion no one can call it creative! It is just a creatively bankrupt tale told for money, and it makes me sick.

[carlyjyll]

Review! Hemlock Grove: Part 2 Numinosum, Part 1

Time to dive back into that wacky Gothic adventure by Brian McGreevy called Hemlock Grove. There will be SPOILERS!

I decided to split Part 2 into two parts. This is Part 1 of Part 2 (pages 59-147).

Review Time!

As Part II of the story opens up I just have to say that I love all the different ways that McGreevy tells this story. From a somewhat traditional 1st person to emails and conversation recordings, it’s just really awesome! So props to you McGreevy, I see you.

Anyways Part II opens with a conversation between Dr. Norman Godfrey and Mr. Francis Pullman during one of their sessions. Francis tells him that he’s seen the Dragon and the thing inside his little girl.

We find out that Lisa Wiloughby was the girl that Christina Wendall kissed in the ending of Part I. The whole school and town is shooked by the two killings, but no less still being general assholes to one another. (Very true to real life.) So much so that Shelley Godfrey is being tormented by some boys but is thankfully rescued by Roman, who makes the boys kiss each other and then the two boys begin to fight. (Again very true to real life.)

Outside the school, Peter tells Roman that he thinks the killings were done by the Vargulf, which is a wolf that’s gone insane and that Peter can smell is angry. Roman then tells Peter he’s always wanted to be a warrior because his mother used to read to him about the Order of the Dragon, which were knights of the Crusades. In telling us this, Roman also wants to investigate the Vargulf and the deaths of the two girls. Peter has deep intimacy issues, as the whole time Roman is confessing this, Peter doesn’t know what the fuck to do and tells Roman to talk to a guidance counselor. Before that is one of my favorite quotes. ‘Wow. Peter didn’t want to touch that with your dick.’ Just beautiful.

Peter believes that there is ‘[about cruelty and pain in life]... no greater asshole than the one who believed he could cure it’ He doesn’t have long to dwell on this when Dr. Clementine Chasseur shows up! She is from the Department of Fish and Wildlife and came to ask Peter if he is a werewolf. A government employee came to a seventeen-year-old’s home to ask if he was a werewolf. (Very true to real life.)  Anyways, she asks this because Christina Wendall told the officers that it was Peter who did it because he told her he was a werewolf. (Remember that weird uncle-niece relationship they had. Well, the niece just fucking outed the weird ‘get-me-a-beer’ uncle. Thanks a lot, niece.) Peter explains the finger hand thing, which gets them talking about lesbians. “But I’m not really an expert on your whole werewolf/ lesbian situation,” Peter tells them. But doesn’t that sound like an awesome spin-off or it’s own series. Werewolf Lesbian Situations and that’s just it. It’s about lesbian werewolves that get themselves into stupid situations... I should write this...

After Dr. Chasseur is done with the interview Peter goes over to Roman’s home, where Roman is being a drama king from their earlier conversation. Which I can’t really blame him but, my GOD ROMAN AND PETER YOU TWO IDIOTS BOTH NEED COUNSELING. Peter tells Roman about the meeting and that Dr. Chasseur is a digger who will try to pry the truth out of him and find out that not only is he a werewolf but so was his grandfather Nicolae. Peter goes on to tell the story that Nicolae was a killer who fucked things up really badly for himself.

McGreevy does an excellent job telling the story about Nicolae and how the Rumanceks came to America and how Peter learned to be a wolf. It was really touching and one of the quotes from the story is down in my favorite quotes. Within this, we learn that the ‘g’ tattoo that Peter has on him stands for gadjo (which is someone who isn’t Romani.) Then my favorite saying of all time comes back and in my notes all I wrote was; Return of the Shee-it.

Peter and Roman, mostly Peter decides to go and dig up Lisa Willoughby. Peter believes that this partnership is an ‘auspicious dumbfuck’ of an idea. Also, the way Peter keeps shunning away from connecting with Roman is me. And in my notes I simply but a :(.

So we find out through the newspaper that Lisa was killed by an animal and that she was alive when she died, as in she saw herself being eaten. We also learn that it was Francis Pullman that found Brooke’s body after he escaped from the Godfrey mental institute. Speaking of Godfrey’s we have a scene with Shelley and Roman who are a jewelry store where Shelley sees that the saleswoman is Jenny from the club. Jenny got fired after the night Shelley wanted a salad instead of her meat. Roman tells Jenny that she’s lucky that her brain wasn’t taken out, indicating that that’s what Olivia usually does with her ‘enemies’.

Cut to another day at school, Roman drives Letha, Peter, and Shelley home. Letha has the hots for Peter and Peter doesn’t understand why she’s staring at him. ‘This family.’ <-----Remember that quote. Roman wants Letha to get information on Francis Pullman and what he knows. Letha doesn’t really want to but is going to because of Peter. While she’s deciding they pull up beside a garbage truck, which is so fucking perfect.

(Get it?)

Finally, we get to the scene where the twins Alyssa and Alexa Sworn visit Christina. Who is not doing well at all? Also, these girls are such assholes! Like my God, chill for about five years, your homegirl just tongued a corpse give her a break. But even with their charming interactions, we find out that Christina’s hair is turning white, from all the stress. Poor homegirl, she never got a chance.

Back to our favorite grave diggers! So I hate to admit this but I’m so Roman in this scene. Just spewing facts that no one cares about and you end up looking like a serial killer. #justgirlythings   As they begin digging Lisa’s grave, they start talking about different funerals they attended.  We learn that Nicolae died of colon cancer and Peter got to chop off his head before they buried him. Roman only ever went to two funerals. His father’s, which we get a flashback of what happened and that Roman knows of his uncle and mother’s affair. The second funeral was of Shelley.

There’s this really short scene of the twins being picked up by their dad and they mention Dunkin Donuts coffee and I got really jealous. We don’t have Dunkin Donuts over here on the west coast. All we have is Starbucks in my area, and they don’t even have donuts. This has been Carly’s tribute to Dunkin Donuts (Oh how I miss you!)

Cut to a new day where Letha decides to sit with Peter, who still doesn’t get that she likes him. This boy! - Do you remember that quote from before? Well, I do. And I see you, McGreevy. I see you. I loved this scene between the two of them and especially the end where Peter gives her the pink ring. Also, I forgot how much I really like Peter and Letha’s interactions, they just, I don’t know make me smile like an idiot. What can I say I’m a sucker for two idiots flirting/not flirting with each other.

In the following scene, we follow Dr. Chasseur who has come to the Godfrey Institute of Biomedical Technologies. We finally get to meet the ever creepy Dr. Johann Pryce! I only like him because he creeps me the fuck out. The two talk about what they know of each other and reanimating baby corpses. The typical food court at the mall conversations! Though I really liked how Dr. Pryce described JR a complete fuckwit. Idk it made me smile? Dr. Chasseur has a hard time reading Dr. Pryce as he has a face resembling the breathing dead.

After their conversation, we follow Peter and Roman on another one of their wacky adventures to visit his cousin Destiny. On the way, Roman goes from 0 to 100 by coming out of the blue and asking “What do you do while you’re horny?” I have so many questions. Do guys actually do this? Or is this Roman being Roman? But as always, stay classy Roman. They hand over Lisa’s intestines that they got to Destiny who puts an earthworm inside.

Dr. Norman Godrey goes and visits Dr. Pryce to ask him why his niece and patient are talking about the Dragon. Pryce shows him that the Dragon is really just a mural. Dr. Pryce also tells Norman that Mr. Pullman was used in a sleep study. We also learn that Pryce was involved in reviving (reanimating?) Shelley. “...What was of greatest benefit to themselves and their environment was a peerless cunt.” I love that all the creeps in this book are fully aware that they’re awful, but at the same time do nothing to improve their awfulness. I mean even Roman is creeped out by Dr. Pryce! Fucking Roman! In a later scene, we have Dr. Pryce come to the Godrey house to tell Shelley to zip it about his secret projects.

We get an insight into the many oddities of Olivia Godfrey, including if I’m not mistaken, trying to get it with her daughter? Idk but that scene with her on the couch with Shelley gave me some creepy incest vibes. After that Roman comes home and Olivia accuses Roman of being the one to dig up the grave. Roman says she needs to get laid and particularly by Norman. Olivia goes into a slapping spell that then renders her unconscious.  This is not the last time Olivia goes suddenly unconscious, it happens later on at the library with Shelley, after she sees Christina Wendall.

Peter returns to Destiny’s place and she proceeds to eat the worm that’s been living with Lisa’s intestines for a week. We get to see though “Lisa’s eyes”, that she was invited to Hemlock Grove and was eaten by a big black wolf with yellow eyes. As cool as Destiny’s seerness is in this chapter and that she tells Peter to be wary of Roman,  my favorite part was where Peter asks her about angels and that what I wrote was; PETER LIKES LETHA!! The boy finally gets it! 

(~LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY!~)

Then we cut to Letha get a creepy massage by Roman. Fucking Roman!

After that, we have more fucking but between Olivia and Norman as they continue their really depressing sex affair. But we also get to learn that she was a patient of Norman before they were a couple. Also how sad is he? Like someone help him. He’s about to go Christina on us.

On another wacky adventure, we have Roman and Peter going to Lisa Wiloughby’s home and searching her place for an invitation. Lisa’s How to Change list is me btw. Her sister catches them but surprisingly helps them by handing over the letter. Inside we learn that she was supposedly invited by Roman. Roman promises to kill the killer. Fucking Roman!

There’s another session with Norman and Mr. Pullman where he gives out another name of a patient. H. Varga. Is it bad that when he was talking about the needle the size of a sword all I could think of was this:

So that’s the end of my Part I of Part  2 of Hemlock Grove! 

Dude, I really loved this part so far! I’m really digging all the characters and I love the flashbacks that were in the show kind of but in the books they were really well written. I didn’t mention this above but I absolutely loved Roman’s flashbacks of the cardinal. I don’t know why but that scene is still stuck in my head. As I did mention above, I looooove Letha and Peter’s interactions. They’re just really good and I like the similarities in how they think. (This boy. This family.) Kudos once again to Brian McGreevy, I can’t express enough how much I love the different ways you tell this story. It never gets boring.

I can’t wait to read the rest of Part 2 and 3 and give the rest of my review!

BONUS! Favorite Quotes!

“Do I got a dick in my mouth? I ain’t fucking crazy.”- Frances Pullman.

“I thought it meant you were a lesbian.” The police officer Neck about the size of your ring and middle finger.

“No punishment is greater, it’s having your heart removed.”- Peter about Nicolae.

“Shee-it.” 

“All necrophiliacs should be so lucky.”- Alexa Sworn to mental unstable Christina.

“What a drag.” Peter about being younger and patient.

“Earth to fucknuts.”- Peter to Roman.

Stay tuned for my Part 3 of this Review! 

But in the meantime...

Check out Brian McGreevy’s website here !

Buy his book, Hemlock Grove here!

If you haven’t seen the Hemlock Grove on Netflix go and give it a look!

Part 1, Part 3, and Part 4